


Pyroclastic

by Asuka Kureru (Askerian)



Series: jaeger x townie otp [2]
Category: Girl Genius
Genre: After the Adventure, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Long-Distance Relationship, Love Letters, M/M, jaeger x townie otp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-24
Updated: 2014-10-27
Packaged: 2018-02-22 10:55:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2505275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Askerian/pseuds/Asuka%20Kureru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sorin briefly contemplated reminding his little sister that raising her voice was guaranteed to bring their mother in, and he was supposed to be resting after his long travel while <i>convalescing</i> and damn straight it would be enforced.</p><p>"Uh huh?"</p><p>"You're having adventures and, and <i>scandalizing the neighbors!</i>"</p><p>"Huh." A placid blink. Ludmilla was waving her hands in the air and scowling, up on her knees on his mattress. Her curls were doing a bouncing lamb impression on her shoulders.</p><p>"It's <i>my</i> thing!" she sputtered. "It's always been my thing! You -- you thing thief." </p><p>Sorin cracked up. Their mother was at the door approximately two and a half seconds later. </p><p>--<br/>Sorin comes home. It goes about as well as expected.</p><p>Slots between the main body of <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/2067129">Nuée Ardente</a> and its epilogue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [adiduck (book_people)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/book_people/gifts).



> Yeah so this was supposed to be a short couple of prompt-based ficlets. Off the top of my head:
> 
> -Nuée Ardente! ♥ ... So does Sorin end up seeing his family again after the lava cannons? And are apprenticeships here the sort with an actual contract that would need to be broken, or is he free to never see the blacksmith again?  
> -"Vel Meeting Sorins family"/Sorin/Velimir, Meeting the Parents. (Mom and Pop or the Generals? You decide!)  
> -Nuee Ardente meme - Sorin mentions early on that there are hot springs in Vulkanburg. He should show Veli. :D (only glancingly alas)  
> -Nuée Ardente: What happened to Rozalia and her father?  
> -What about Sorin receiving the portaforge? (Like a portapotty except, y'know. A forge.)
> 
> 25k later...

Had his bed always been so small?

Sorin lowered himself onto it face down, one-handed; his right wrist was still weak, the break only recently healed. He'd lost muscle tone; it would be fun rebuilding that at the forge...

Velimir wouldn't have fit on here with him -- or maybe if they piled up, but then it would creak something awful and one of them would smother. (It would have been fun.) He let his face fall right into his pillow; his mother had changed the sheets recently, it didn't smell like Sorin at all.

Didn't smell like Velimir either. Nothing did anymore. Strange the way his guts twisted at that.

Something scratched at the window frame over his head, tapped an upbeat little rhythm. He didn't know if he was annoyed or relieved. Sighing, he sat up to open it, let his sister in.

"You _jerk!_ " was the first thing she said as she let herself fall butt first onto his bed.

"Wow, Ludy, what a surprise to see you here. This is so unexpected." Not.

The first time Sorin had dared to venture out onto the slanted roof, he'd been eight; she'd been three, and had charged after him without hesitation. She'd used it and the corridor as ways to Sorin's bedroom indifferently ever since, to the terror of everyone in the family.

Ludmilla rolled her eyes with gusto, and punched him in the shoulder -- and _then_ paused to eye him warily. "Um, did you have a burn there or...?"

Sorin was briefly tempted to pretend; but no, that was childish. He was totally above that now.

Okay, he was too tired to be childish, more like. He rolled his eyes right back at her. "If I did you'd know it by now. What'd you want?"

His little sister glared at him, half-seriously. They'd done the hugging and tearing up earlier, when Ludmilla and their mother had come to pick up Sorin from the square where the Baron's transport had left him, and then again downstairs when they got home and found their father had managed to totter his way to the seat by the window to wait for Sorin, which was more than enough crying for a single day. Now apparently she was back to My Big Brother Is A Pain In The Butt, Why Do I Even Have One Of Those.

"Tell you you're a _jerk_."

Pff. "Yeah, yeah." Sorin repressed a smile, leaned back all uncaring and pointedly bored against the headboard. "How am I a jerk now, miss brat queen?"

She delivered a slap to his knee. Ow. "You're asking me?! Like you don't know! Oh my little mimmoth, it's _so unfair_ , you're the most unfair guy _ever_!"

Sorin briefly contemplated reminding her that raising her voice was guaranteed to bring their mother in, and he was supposed to be _resting_ after his _long travel_ while _convalescing_ and damn straight it would be enforced.

"Uh huh?"

"You're _having adventures_ and, and _scandalizing the neighbors!_ "

"Huh." A placid blink. His sister was waving her hands in the air and scowling, up on her knees on his mattress. Her curls were doing a bouncing lamb impression on her shoulders.

"It's _my_ thing!" she sputtered. "It's always been my thing! You -- you thing _thief_."

Sorin cracked up. Their mother was at the door approximately two and a half seconds later.

She leveled a narrow-eyed, cold look at Sorin's little sister, who wilted only barely. "What are you doing here?"

"Aw, Mother--"

"It's okay," Sorin said. "I wasn't sleeping yet or anything."

His mother's eyes narrowed some more. "And now you aren't going to sleep anytime soon, with that racket."

Ludmilla pouted. "But we hardly talked about anything! I wanted to hear about his adventure and he's right, he wasn't even asleep!"

Sorin almost told her that for her it might have been adventures, but for him it had been the most terrifying handful of days of his existence, and then... didn't. He'd rather she think of it as adventures; he'd rather not remind his mother, who had undoubtedly spent four weeks with her last memory of him as a charred, mangled almost-corpse in the dirt.

"You got to try out jail," he said around a smirk, "isn't that something? That way next time you'll know what to exp-- ow, hey!"

Their mother straightened up and looked thunderous. "Ludmilla, you hit your brother again, so help me...!"

"But he's not injured there!"

Sorin rubbed at his shoulder pointedly, and huffed through his nose. "Not yet, the way you hit. You brute. I've been slapped around by jaegers who wished they had your punch, seriously."

Ludmilla gaped at him. "Oh, that's such a lie -- really, jaeger _monsters_? Tell me everything!"

Oh dear Lord, no way. He tried not to think about anything that would make him blush, what a disaster that would be --

"Ludmilla," their mother said, calm and firm. His sister deflated.

"I really am tired, though. Later, yeah?" Sorin promised, and waved her off his bed.

She went with a sigh, shoulders slumping -- for all of three steps; by the time she crossed his doorway her shoulders were pulled back and she was marching off to war again.

His mother looked at him for another handful of seconds, and for a horrified moment he thought the woman of steel was going to tear up. Again. He'd managed to take it during their reunion, he had been crying a little himself, but oh Lord please not now, he would _die_ \--

"Do take a nap, Sorin," was all she said before she walked out, closing the door behind her.

Sorin closed the window and laid down on his back. His back felt tight; he stretched against the scars.

He _was_ tired, but by the time dinner came around he was still staring at his ceiling and trying not to think of anything much.

Tomorrow would be better. It would be.

\--

The next day at noon Master Iliescu came by to welcome him back. His daughter was in jail awaiting judgment. They were both relieved when the conversation went off the topic of their respective health and families and back to how soon Sorin could get back to work. The new apprentice was twelve years old and didn't yet know his ass from a hole in the ground.

\--

These were things Sorin noticed as the weeks went by:

1\. His mother had stopped chatting with the neighbors on the left.

2\. There were constructs in the streets in impeccable Wulfenbach livery, and they were as a rule scrupulously polite and also terrifyingly efficient. People spat on the ground after they'd gone by.

3\. The tunnels had either been filled in or put under guard by Wulfenbach soldiers. All travel now happened strictly on the surface.

4\. On his trips back and forth between the foundry and home some people were actually _glaring_ , not just staring at his scars as he'd first assumed.

5\. The hot springs put up a No Constructs Allowed sign. For sanitary reasons.

6\. One day Ludy came back with her hair in disarray and a bruise blooming on her cheek, proud like an ear-bitten cat, and wouldn't tell anyone what the fight had been about.

7\. People were still going to bed at eight PM. Anyone he crossed paths with in the dark after curfew (there was no more curfew!) moved furtive like thieves and flinched when he didn't pretend he couldn't see them. The pubs that began staying open were branded sleazy.

\---

_To: Sorin Petrescu, care of Master Iliescu, Vulkanburg_

_hoy Sorin!_ (*scribble of a smiling face with zigzag teeth*)

_how is mine favorite lava cannon these days_

_i think of writing to you in the way i speak all fonetik! but then i think of you mailing me back a bomb and think maybe later are you glad yet?_

_things are good and busy here good fights to be had and kazimir had a foot lopped off but he gets a replica made with claws on them and is hapy, he kicks really hard now_ (*follows another page of detailed news about various jaegers, with little in the way of paragraph breaks*)

 _and i am going to assume if someone is reading your letter by now they have given up already and if they haven't they'd better give up now becaus i get to talk to them in person about their nosiness if they don't_ (*another toothy scribble, less friendly*)

 _it's weird to miss you because we didn't have a lot of time together but it's still sad when i can't tell you things and watch the faces you make at them like this face is mine favorite_ (*several attempts: a wide-eyed face, a wave-mouthed face, a face with an X for a mouth, and things in between*) _like how when you want to be all with the shocked but really you think it's funny but you don't want me to see that_

 _also i can't touch your face or other parts of you that was also good and is missed you are very warm and comfortable to sleep on and Other Things and_ (*meaningless scribble*)

 _sorry for the mess i have to stop writing sometimes because mine brothers think mine time on watch and their time asleep is perfect time for pranks and things and samo already see me with ink splashes on me i have to tell him big huge lie about tiny squidbeast that is totally made up_ (*sad toothy face*) _which is sad because i made them sound delicious and now i am hungry_

_samo is not very smart i was lucky alright where was i_

_right yes wanting to touch you all over and cuddle and Special Cuddle and Things_

_our date wos very fun and if you want another date when i do manage to get to your town again that would be pretty nice. very pretty nice._

_also it will be easier to lose mine stupid brothers in a place where i am not forbidden to take you out of the public corridors with their stupid walls and straight lines and things_

_when you smile wide your cheeks get the dimple things which is very unreasonably charming and i am disappointed at you for trying to charm a v serious soldier of BE RIGHT BACK DRAGON THING_

(*The ink color changes, brownish and a little flaky*)

_six days later v. v. busy so many dragons all of the dragons. lost my ink guess what i gets instead was bitten just a little will have v. neat scar for the next two months hope you see it it is in a fun place. post leaves in ten minutes can't say more!!!_

_vrite me at CPL Velimir Ardel 3 rd Jaegermonster Regiment care of Castle Wulfenbach it will find me!! (i say the ardel part bcz there is another velimir but we don't talk about him he is not as cute as me)_

_~yours, Veli_

\--

_To: CPL Velimir Ardel 3 rd Jaegermonster Regiment care of Castle Wulfenbach_

_Dear Veli (the cuter one, or so you say),_

_I have received your letter. (Obviously, since I'm answering it.) You will be glad to learn that Master Iliescu accepted my explanation that I couldn't get any mail at my place without my sister getting into it at some point, and showed no curiosity of his own. Otherwise I would have had a Serious Problem, considering what you saw fit to talk about._

_I was very happy to read it either way. Even your writing in blood was cute somehow. How do you do that, it is a travesty._

_I miss you too. It's silly but the town seems smaller now, flatter, even though it's all in a bowl and full of slopes and things. (Maybe it's just that they closed the tunnels. I used to know all the shortcuts. Unfair!) But I am otherwise doing well. There's a new apprentice that my master took on and he's so young, I was never that young, was I? I bet to you he would seem utterly larval._

_The members of my family are all healthy and doing well, even if my sister seems determined to see the glorious mess of our meeting as a Grand Adventure that I stole from her somehow. If one day you meet her Heroing in some dank castle pray treat her nicely. She is a brat, but a loving one._

_She also wants me to tell her every single detail I may remember on the topic, and needless to say there is no way in all of Hades' domain I am sharing with her the parts I find most pertinent._

_Keep your related anatomy jokes to yourself, please, I can hear them from here._

_You need not fear I might send you a bomb for writing like you talk! Such a silly, unfounded notion. There's no active Spark in this town, where would I even get one?_ (*really bad attempt at drawing a winking face in the margin, scribbled over*)

_Can you believe I miss you teasing me. It was a lot of fun, spending time with you. Apart from the bits with the mortal terror I suppose but those seem far away now, whereas I just need to think about your more solid attributes such as your arms shut up Velimir and remember them with immediate physicality._

_... Alright, I also remember the rest pretty well._

_I'm glad to hear you're having fun with your dragons. Did you perchance keep scales as a trophy? -- no, wait, pretend I didn't say anything, you'd be liable to send me something gross next time as a souvenir. I just wondered what they looked like. Anyway it's good that you're keeping busy with your brothers. I bet you guys get all sad and mopey when you don't have anything to do._

_I'll try to figure out better dating spots for when you visit. Better and probably more discreet. Urgh, so many guards around town now. And I heard there are jaegers around for night watch but I haven't seen any so far, it's like they think people will faint or something, we never see them in the streets. Might be fun to try to sneak past your brothers and other guards, I guess, but I'd rather avoid getting the Baron's notice again. I know you'd just laugh off having to explain but I, personally, would die. Or kill you and then die._

_So the spot has to be really, really discreet. I will be pondering it with all due seriousness. By which I mean yes on second date, there had better be a second date. I want one._

_It's too bad there's no way for you guys to just operate out of Vulkanburg year-round. On one hand it would be much easier to meet, but on the other hand all threats to life except from you guys would be eradicated inside of a year and then you'd be mopey and bored and possibly we'd get an influx of immigrants and jealous conquerors out to steal our preposterous amount of monster-free arable lands. ... Yes, and you'd be mopey and bored, which would be horrible anyway._ (*attempt at a sad face*) (*attempt at a cow munching on grass watching a jaeger, or maybe a scarecrow. The jaeger has a speech bubble saying "verdammt!" and is shaking his fists at the sky*)

 _I should go to sleep now as it is very late and I have to get up early tomorrow so that I can post this. Goodnight, then._ (*something that upon squinting might be "my dear" is vigorously scratched out.*)

_Yours,_  
 _Sorin_

_PS: Ardel, huh? Heh._

\--

_To: Sorin Petrescu, care of Master Iliescu, Vulkanburg_

_Why Hello Mr. Sorin Ardel JUST KIDDING i know that's not why you said it back like that its just funny. would sound damn good tho. its not a secret or anything i just really don't use it at all anymore if its not for mail and i don't get mail. about the other velimir he is velja and i am veli they don't mix us up, really it's not hard. also he is like four hundred and twenty or forty i forget and also furry and black all over w/ spines of doom, v dashing but not cute at all you would not like his butt. it is a very so-so butt. ..._

\--

 _... And why shouldn't you be Velimir Petrescu, huh? ... Though it doesn't sound quite as good. Harrumphing in real life. This is my thwarted face._ (*arrow toward a very bad drawing of a frowning face.*) _Man, listen to us, barely one date in and we're wondering who's the wife, that's maybe a bit of putting the cart before the horse._

_By the way. You're the wife. ..._

\---

"Where are we going?"

Luca had been herding him through town the second Sorin had hung his work apron up. "You'll see, you'll see!"

Luca and Cristian kept grinning at each other; Sorin would have worried, but Luca had been a good friend since Sorin was in short pants -- probably the best friend Sorin had -- and he knew him for a decent sort, he couldn't imagine the surprise would be a bad one.

Cristian was a bit less reliable, but still fun enough. (Also Sorin could beat him quite soundly at any contest of strength he could think of, so.)

The three of them climbed the rimwards streets, the slope growing sharper until their calves chafed with the strain; the sky was darkening, purplish already, the sun down behind the mountains. It was getting late, he couldn't help but notice, and none of them lived that close to the edge of town.

They passed the leatherworkers' guild to find another six or seven people waiting; Serghei the perpetually stooped apprentice locksmith, tall and blond Florin from the bakery, standing with a barrel over his shoulder, other boys he'd been running around with more or less regularly since childhood. Several girls, none of whom he really knew, but he thought he'd seen them around. The girl with the red dress lived on Master Iliescu's street; he nodded a greeting at her. Felicia, he thought, or something like that. She grinned back, and then pinched her lips and smiled again, more reserved.

(He wondered if she was friends with Rozalia and would ask about her. Better not talk with her too much.)

"Hey, Sorin," Serghei greeted him, waving lazily. Emil glowered.

"What are we doing?"

"We're doing shut up, do you want to alert the guards?" one of the other guys hissed, and glanced up the next not-really-a-street. It was more of a cul-de-sac that ran up to the very rim of the caldera; someone had parked a mess of broken carriages and wheelbarrows there.

Huh. Everyone looked pretty excited. And from the way Florin's barrel sloshed...

"Pff. Okay, I'm in."

He joined the guy at the corner and peeked down the cul-de-sac. Nothing moved, not even a stray cat.

"Guards?" he asked, checking the rooftops, the rocky rim. Nothing moved, but that didn't mean much.

"Not often, not at this time, but what if they vary their route?" the other guy said grimly, eyebrows furrowed.

Yeah, what if they varied their route, and caught a handful of young people sneaking to a discreet corner for an evening of drinking. How terrible, they'd probably confiscate the likely ill-begotten barrel and send them straight home. Sorin bit on his lip to keep from smiling. It didn't work very well.

"I'll check it out," he said, and started down the cul-de-sac at a brisk pace. Ten steps in he accidentally kicked a bit of wood, and the guy at the corner hissed out a distressed noise that was probably louder than he'd just been.

He reached the frayed edge of stones at the back, climbed up, took quick little looks. No human silhouettes in sight. He wanted to hop the wall and take off running, just because he could. He dropped back down to wait for the rest of them instead.

The whole pack of them was at the corner, and they came in a giggling, shush-ing stampede the second he gave the all-clear. Pfff.

Sorin bet the Baron's secret police had been tracking them for the last two blocks already.

He also bet they would leave dealing with drunk kids to the actual guards. Wasn't like you could leave town from here, the lava mazes were still a thing, spying and smuggling weren't going to be concerns.

The guys helped the girls over the wall, Sorin and Luca helped brace the barrel until Florin could take it back, and then they were scurrying down the narrow paths between cracked black stones one after the other, giggling and whispering.

It was lighter than in town out here, though down between the cracks it was dark enough that Sorin stubbed his fingers and toes several times; the top of the maze was haloed in faint reddish light, reflections from the exposed lava some way down. It was hot as well, and dry, and it made him realize he was actually pretty thirsty.

They found a clearing of sorts between the stones, sat in a rough circle; a crack in the rock reflected lava light from a hundred steps away. It was, he decided, actually fairly nice.

The drink turned out to be a fairly strong, cheap wine, spiked with a good dash of fruity brandy, that scorched itself a way down his throat and up his nose. (Florin must have tried it out, and then topped it off.) Sorin briefly wished someone had thought to bring water. But it was fun, whispers rising into laughter, teasing, playful shoving, grins all around. Even Serghei's eyes were gleaming, being out here at night.

"Hi," someone told him, sitting beside him with a thump. "I'm Gabi."

Sorin blinked, smiled back behind his mug. (Great Thundering Lord, he had a whole mug to get through.) "Hey. I'm Sorin."

She snickered. "I _know_."

From the other side of the circle, Emil glowered at him some more. Sorin arched a baffled eyebrow and then turned away from him. Wouldn't be polite to ignore her. What, what had she -- "--Oh. Huh. Um. Okay? I guess that's the introductions out of the way, then."

She had a laugh like a snorting horse. It was pretty contagious. He snickered back and tried not to aspirate any of his drink.

It was _fun_. He hadn't realized he'd missed this -- he had known he'd missed his home and his work, but not sitting around with other young people doing pointless silly things and having long rambling conversations that were excuses to brag and make each other laugh.

Even before Veli, he'd been pretty busy. The forge started early, when it was still cool and nice, and on Sundays his mother insisted on dragging him to church, and...

"Yeah, Castle Wulfenbach feels more like being indoors -- I mean, it's ridiculous how huge it is, I don't think I went a fourth of its length and I was walking for about two hours -- but it's still all carpeted corridors with lamps and, and steel rivets and things, shiny, you know, _polished_ , and you can spend a day walking around and never see daylight--"

Luca was busy flirting with Olimpia, and Cristian and Dan were, he wasn't sure, some knife game, but Florin, Gabi and Felicia were leaning in, and it felt weird and warm inside him, watching them hanging from his every word. It was probably the brandied-up wine.

Emil snorted loudly and swallowed another mouthful. Gabi rolled her eyes and nudged Sorin in the ribs.

"... Anyway, yeah, it didn't feel like a real town at all, even though it pretty much was. Schwarzburg, though--"

"Meh, those _other towns_. Why can't they stay over there, and, and like, not change _ours_? No one asked for it."

Um. Sorin blinked. Wow, grumpy.

... No one else was saying anything, trading looks and glancing at him, like they were waiting for his reaction. Sorin tilted his head a bit, frowned. "Uh. Okay? It was pretty inevitable, I guess."

"Like hell it was!" Emil spluttered back. Both his hands were clenched on his mug and he was hunched in on himself, defensive and sour. Combative drunk? Just his luck -- no, Emil was deflating, burrowing into his mug with a mutter. "We had it good with her. Commerce, good doctors, everything. She took _care_ of us."

... Yeah, especially when chasing him with murderous lava-spewing clanks, Sorin had felt very taken care of then.

Okay, most people in this town hadn't had his experience. He supposed he was just unlucky like that.

"Curfew," he pointed out. The sky was dark over them, though they couldn't see many stars, too close to the glow of the lava maze.

Florin and Felicia looked up, shuddered. Sorin wondered if they'd ever been outside at night before. Surely they had, curfew hadn't become a thing until Sorin was at least seven or eight...

"So she wanted us to sleep well and she was a bit heavy-handed at showing it, so what. We're losing so much trade, and the new council is a bunch of stiff-necked bastards! Blah blah lower all the prices, you're too expensive for the rest of the Empire," Emil spat. It sounded like something he'd heard from his master, and taken to heart.

Not that Sorin never took things Master Iliescu talked about to heart either, he supposed. Mnergh. He hadn't asked to be allowed to tell his stories, _they_ had wanted to hear them. He sure as hell didn't want to hear about _her_.

He'd heard things like this often enough, muttered just at the edge of his hearing, or when people didn't notice him there, strangers at the market. Short-sighted, selfish, _stupid_ things.

"Emil," he said, trying not to sound curt. "Once it came out, what the Viscountess was planning, it would have happened no matter what. And it _was_ going to come out, I mean, she was _gearing up for war_ , you'd be learning about it about right now. Maybe in a couple of months at best." And then some of the young men sitting here would die on that stupid, pointless battlefield. 'Oh but she had all those automatons so none of us would have to' -- no one waged war with clanks alone, it wasn't like they drove themselves.

Emil glared at him and said nothing, sullen and wilted. Sorin sighed. His buzz was ruined.

"...I'd love to be able to go back to when we could trust her and feel good under her care, but it's not like we can go back in time and unknow it."

"Yeah but I still didn't want to know," Emil muttered. "Thanks for nothing."

Sorin didn't know what to say. No problem? My bad? Go to hell? He didn't -- couldn't figure out what Emil was even thinking. Maybe because he hadn't seen it all firsthand...

The awkward silence was stretching out of their little group. Luca turned, worried, to look at him, and Sorin realized he didn't even know what his good childhood friend was thinking. If he secretly thought, deep down, that he'd rather Sorin hadn't blown it wide open either. He was too reasonable to think it was feasible, but that didn't mean he didn't _feel_ \--

Drunken laughter broke the moment. Quiet, mellow Serghei tipped sideways against a rock, shook his head. "You sound like... like an ally of justice!" He giggled. "Otharrrrrr... _Petresvassen!_ "

Sorin wasn't sure where he found that smile. "Your momma didn't call it justice when I gave it to her," he retorted. Cristian and Luca hooted; Florin shoved him so hard he almost fell into Gabi's lap, and then everyone was laughing and the moment was over.

It hadn't been that funny. He didn't feel like laughing, but he laughed anyway. He wanted to yell, to make sure they saw the big picture, saw it _properly_ , but it wasn't -- it was presumptuous and overbearing and _do not discuss religion and politics_.

The conversation restarted around him, and he hummed and nodded along, and a half-hour later when his mug was empty he didn't fill it again.

"Alright, moon's up, I should go. My mother will be launching a search party any minute now." He got up. People jeered, those who weren't busy canoodling.

"Are you still, you know, your wounds?" Luca asked him, a bit guiltily. Sorin hesitated to go with it, briefly tempted to blame it all on those.

"... Nah, I'm healed now, I just like my sleep. G'night, everyone, it was fun."

When he stepped toward the gap in the stones Gabi got up and followed. "Wait! I'll go too, I'm falling asleep." She caught up, smiled at him. "My place is on your way, you can walk me home."

Luca whistled, grinning with all his teeth; Emil hunched some more. Oh.

She'd been flirting? And here he'd thought she was just enjoying the conversation...

He led the way back out, offered his hand for tricky parts of the path even though he was just as tipsy as she was, and he toppled them over against a rock one time, but eventually they were back on the streets. She slipped her hand in the crook of his elbow and they let gravity steer them downslope.

They only exchanged a few words in the quiet of the streets -- where do you live, will you be in trouble -- until she sneaked him a dry look and said, "You met someone when you were out of town, didn't you."

"--Um?"

"You didn't even try to steal a kiss or anything. And if it were anyone from town, people would know it, but you don't go out."

Sorin cleared his throat, looked away. "Um." His heart beat in his temples, thinking of mentioning Velimir at all inside the city walls. "Yeah. I did. Sorry if I -- did it look like I was flirting?"

Gabi snorted. "Maybe a bit, but mostly I wanted to leave and I thought you were pretty nice and not as gropey as your buddy Cristian, so if I had to kiss you, hey, it wouldn't be that bad."

Sorin choked a little, stared at her; she smirked back. She had dark eyes, there wasn't enough light to see the shade, but friendly; her nose was a little crooked, the smile on her full mouth a little teasing, but teasing like someone who could also choose to bite.

He _knew_ he was blushing. That didn't stop it happening. "Um. That is _faint_ praise, but thank you, I guess."

"Pff. There, there. You're cute, but you know, I came in thinking you were a bad boy, all for anarchy! Rowr. And instead you're nice and _respectful_ , that's boring!"

He... was almost sure she was having him on. He pursed his lips disapprovingly. She snickered harder.

"So what's she like?" Gabi demanded, putting more weight on his arm. "Is she coming here to visit?"

Man, Sorin _wished_. "Not for a while. We're writing back and forth, though. It's pretty nice. She's funny. Smart as a whip, too. Pretends she isn't and then bam, here's some insight twelve feet deep, mister."

Gabi nodded, mouth twisted to the side dubiously. "Yeah, I know the trick, us girls go farther playing it dumb and giggly."

Sorin tried to imagine his big Jaegermonster of a lover playing it dumb and giggly. Possibly while twirling his hair and giving him a look from under his eyelashes. It was ... actually it was disturbingly easy, but also disturbingly hilarious. He heroically swallowed almost all of his laughter.

"Oh dear God above. That's so wrong. I -- you have no idea how wrong."

"Ohh?"

Oh damn, she was interested. He smiled and shrugged and prayed for her not to push. "Just _really_ not her."

It was oddly nice to talk about Velimir with _someone_ , even though he was still lying about most of it. Made him feel a little giddy.

"I see." She pursed her lips in a way that meant she didn't really see, and then shrugged it off. "You're lucky, I've got no beau worth the time so far."

"You'll find someone. You're pretty funny too." If in a pretty sharp way. He was sure someone would appreciate that out there...

"... Yeah, um, most guys I know prefer a girl who laughs at _their_ jokes." She sneaked him a doubtful look. "So you planning to settle down then? Because if not, we can be each other's backup for family reunion purposes."

"Whoa, whoa, I'm only -- um, okay, almost twenty, but I'm still not anywhere close to getting married."

Gabi looked concerned. "Um. Does _she_ know that?"

Sorin blinked. "Know what?"

"That you don't wanna get married yet!"

Yeah, um. It was surreal enough that he couldn't help laughing. "Trust me, if I tried to propose -- uh, wait, I kind of did, actually, but it was a joke. I mean, if I was serious she would laugh in my face."

Gabi was staring at him like she didn't see why it was funny at all, and he sobered up, and then -- whoa. Yeah. That sounded bad. He tried to figure out a way to explain -- 'she's not the settling down type' would make his hypothetical girlfriend sound like a loose woman (Velimir was not _loose_ , it wasn't like he was _sleeping_ with either his hypothetical Heterodyne or his passel of brothers.)

'This place would feel like a cage' would sound pretty bad too.

"She's... the adventuring type. She's an adventuress. Yeah." He let out a short sigh. They were approaching the bottom of the caldera, soon to cross over to the street where Gabi lived. "I really don't think it's going to end in marriage, but it's... It's nice. For now."

(For how long? No, it was still nice, it _was_. Sure, he missed the sex, but Veli's letters -- he liked those, he liked thinking of his jaeger sweetheart sneaking around behind his brothers' backs to make time to write him all those silly things.)

When he looked up Gabi was giving him a pitying look of the vaguely disapproving variety. "Oh, honey. You're a romantic. That's a _bad_ trait, Sorin."

It was on the tip of his tongue that he was already doomed for being an invert, so it didn't matter much. He bit it back. He was tipsy and she listened well but he barely knew her. Couldn't trust.

He shrugged. "Eh, we'll see. So hey, how far is your house?"

The change of topic was graceless, and she snorted at him, but then she dropped it and went on to talk about her family until they got to her house. He watched her go in, dutifully, and then went home.

He sneaked through the window and fell straight on his bed. He thought about going to get some water to drink, and thought of wanting Velimir there squeezed in his bed with him, and fell asleep face down on his covers, still fully dressed.

\---

 _... okay, i is the wife, dearest. you will have to lend me your apron though i am sadly lacking in aprons. but will i look darling wearing it??_ (*scribble of crying face.*)

_by the way anton says hi he is not stationed with us but we crossed paths the other day. and yeah he says hi and also some things i would never repet in print they are just that indecent ok just kiding i would totally repet them. ..._

_\--_

_... So did Anton say the things or not? On second thought I don't think I want to know. Oh, that reminds me, we've Finally graduated to a town that allows jaegers out in full daylight. You'd think people hadn't known they were there, the way they carry on._

_Hey, hey! It's not a Wifely apron, it is a Manly apron for molten iron wrangling, okay? Get it right. And it wouldn't suit you over the uniform._...

\--

... (*huge grinning face with a detailed rendering of Velimir's hat.*) _hy guess hy haff to tek off de uniform und wear chust de apron den ..._

\--

... _...I walked right into that one._ (*a heart.*) ...


	2. Chapter 2

Three months in and there were still odd pauses between him and Master Iliescu. Moments where the discussion almost went somewhere, only for Master Iliescu to fall silent, or find another topic to dodge toward.

Mostly about family. (Yes, my father is still dealing with the aftereffects of being thrown in a cell, how's your daughter doing in prison?)

Sorin still saw the man's eyes catching on the burn scars on Sorin's face and neck sometimes.

At least they could talk about their work. Master Iliescu had procured some of that new steel-chromium alloy some Spark from France had invented, and they were hard at work trying to figure out what to even do with it. The stuff was more brittle than normal steel, the heat required was different, Sorin's arm was about to come off from how hard it needed to be hammered, it was a fascinating problem.

Better than trying to talk about anything else, at any rate. They'd had Wulfenbach customers two days ago and Master Iliescu...

He was too quiet about it, frowned too much, brooding, and looked at Sorin's scars and didn't say a thing. Better to talk steel. Even though they didn't know yet what they would do with steel that supposedly didn't rust. Considering how much of a pain it was to work...

It would probably sell for a lot. Yeah, he was fine with learning how to handle that.

"Hoy, de foundry!"

Sorin and his master paused with hammers in mid-motion, looked at each other. Master Iliescu turned to face the door.

There was a man there, just where the light of the forge didn't reach and the daylight outside transformed him into a black silhouette.

The hat, though. The epaulettes. Huh.

They tilted the block of chromium-steel back onto its base and once it was stable Master Iliescu let Sorin handle it, wiped his hands and went to the open door, but he walked slow and deliberate, and he still carried his hammer.

Sorin hurried to get the thing dunked into the water tub -- the heat hadn't been right anyway -- hung up his own tools, and followed.

"... trouble, we're backed up enough as it is --"

Iliescu stopped talking when he came out, squinting into the light. The Jaeger -- blue scales on purplish skin -- stood with a heavy battle-axe casually draped over his shoulder, and Sorin could see him frowning even with the brim of the hat in the way.

"Master?"

"He wants that axe refitted," Iliescu told him. Sorin sneaked him a glance; he'd sounded oddly gruff.

"Yeah? What's the problem?"

The jaeger looked at him for a second before, no doubt, repeating, "De blade iz fine, but de eye und handle dun play nize together no more. Hy take a sving vun day und it teks off flying, belike."

"Huh." Sorin eyed the battle-axe. It'd be a bit of a challenge refitting that without risking warping the blade, which was, he had to admit, very sharp and well-shaped. "Yeah, that'd be an issue. Not too complicated, though, just a pain..."

"You've got Herr Gottlieb's order," Master Iliescu reminded him.

"Oh, yeah. But I could stay late, and have it done by tomorrow? It's no trouble." He turned to the jaeger. "It'll take a bit longer on your axe, though, but if you're fine with waiting...?"

Both the jaeger and his master were looking at him weird.

\--Oh. Master Iliescu had wanted to refuse, not to have to deal with a ... Wulfenbach man? Construct? Jaegermonster? He was old enough, Sorin had heard stories from him about them and the old Heterodynes. Made sense it would bother him to do work for them.

It didn't bother Sorin, though.

He held out his hand for the weapon, palm up, quoted a price. "I'll send you a message at the castle barracks when it's ready. Who should I ask for?"

"Ho! Hy iz Ari," the jaeger told him with a sudden grin, and unloaded his weapon in Sorin's arms. It was, of course, heavier than it looked. Oof.

"Huh. The balance is going to be a bit tricky. Depending on how much it annoys me I might tack on another five coppers. Good?"

"Jah, jah, iz fine."

"Pleasure doing business with you," Sorin said absently as he wrestled the thing vertical. The jaegermonster waved and ambled down the street to where another three of them waited, sitting on the edge of the fountain.

Yoan, coming back at a run from his errand, almost ran face first into the lot of them. He screeched to a stop, looked up to apologize, and then dodged into the nearest porch with a shriek. Sorin sighed heavily and looked up at Master Iliescu.

"Can't I offload the nails order on him?" he said, maybe a _tiny_ little bit whining. "It'd teach him some control and patience." It was nice that the kid was enthusiastic, but he was _such a klutz_. It wasn't a great thing when you were working around fire. Even sweeping was risky when Yoan was involved.

"It's good for you to finish what you start," Iliescu said blandly.

He looked at Sorin for another long second, and at the axe, and then he disappeared back inside.

Sorin whistled at Yoan and waved. The kid raced to him like werewolves were at his heels and Sorin was the town gate.

He had a feeling they weren't going to finish experimenting with the steel today.

\---

_... I think my Master is trying to make a point, but I'm not sure what the point is. So far I've ended up with every single project for a jaeger that's come in, and either they've been saving up their weirdest stuff or you guys are even more destructive than I already assumed, wow. On a side note, do I want to know what around here would cause a sword to actually bend in half?_

_Yoan broke his toes dropping an iron bar, so a lot of the errand-running and cleaning the shop is back onto my shoulders, joy! But he can still hold a hammer while sitting, even if it's an Awkward angle, and it's been easier teaching him when he's not flitting away every two seconds, at any rate. ..._

\--

(*scribbled on the back of a flyer for a racy dance show*) _HOY SORIN sry not a reply bein deployed for a while a month two month seven month ??? mebbe not but i dunno. DON'T WRITE ME some idiot at central might forward it und we alredy know what happen w/private ~~correpsd~~ letter things in war zones ja_

_i will write you when back gotta go now hugs kisses und naughty touching_

_Veli_ (*a quick heart*)

\--

The worst part about Velimir being out of touch was that at this point, over four months since the last time they met, it wasn't much different from him _not_ being out of touch.

Sorin kept writing anyway, though he didn't try to send the results. His letter was going to need a second envelope when it was time for him to send it off.

If Velimir came back. If he remembered he'd left their correspondence waiting on him to resume. If he still thought it was worth the bother.

If he hadn't died somewhere on a battlefield, where Sorin would never get to hear about it.

All things considered, Sorin was almost thinking the getting distracted and losing interest option was more likely. The world was vast and busy out there and it wasn't like Velimir had gone to battle alone with a townie this time around.

As always, work was going well. His father's health wasn't (what else was new.) Master Iliescu had left the forge in his care for two days, to go visit Rozalia in jail, had come back almost mute. Sorin had been dreaming, not about the lava, but about the world whirling around him, and falling to the ground. The noise-impact of his body hitting down. Being stuck in a car that refused to be controlled as it barreled over a cliff, and the doors wouldn't open and he was caged in, crashing, being forgotten in the wreckage. Being powerless, and his body wouldn't _move_ , wouldn't--

"Forgive me for saying so, but you look a bit pale today," said the very nice construct... man? lady? who had been coming in recently for their alarm clock. They were watching him as he cooled off the last of the pieces in a barrel of water, and Sorin laughed because what else could he do at this point.

"Pale? In this heat? Hah."

"That is not _good_ color, it's feverish color, very bad!" the construct said, teasing him a little he thought. They had a funny accent.

"Yeah, I need to climb up on someone's roof and take in some sun. Alas, chained to this here anvil. In the dark. What a terrible fate."

It was better to be in the foundry. The walls were thick and solid (like the caldera's but a carapace around him rather than something about to tumble down onto him, and people left him alone, apart from Yoan and Master Iliescu, who had good reasons to bother him, and who never accidentally (or "accidentally") prodded where it hurt. (Apart from the Master, but he had a right, and anyway he never did mean to, and he liked Sorin.) When Sorin spent hours hitting and sanding down metal he didn't have to... it felt good, meditative, he felt right here and now, rooted inside his body, and he didn't have to fight his mind so much when it wanted to go places.

While the piece cooled they talked payment. Easy, he had the script down, smile here, make a joke there--

"But really, young man, do you sleep enough?"

He stared. He didn't know why this one customer got so involved in him. "That'll be a half-silver and three coppers, please."

The construct left with their alarm clock held tight against their chest and their head bowed. Maybe, Sorin realized, a bit too late, maybe because there weren't a lot of shopkeepers who bothered with the smile-and-joke script with constructs.

Herr Vasile from the bakery, who was discussing something with Master Iliescu in the front, snorted under his breath and spat into the nearest fire. When he said something about 'that sort' and Iliescu only hummed noncommittally, Sorin wanted, for the first time in weeks, to be out of the forge and... Somewhere else. He didn't know where. Out past the rim, maybe.

But he was past the age for exploring the maze like it was a game, when nosing around for the sheer pleasure of discovery was still alright. And the tunnels under the town had been walled up.

"Hallo, the foundry!"

Sorin turned around, and Luca was there at the door, grinning, nose a little wrinkled from the smoke or maybe from seeing Sorin's sooty face.

"Hey," Sorin said, wiping his hands on his apron. "What's going on?"

"It's about the time you were let out, isn't it?"

It... could be. Sorin had been staying late so regularly...

Yoan was half-asleep on his broom, and Iliescu only flicked his hand, yes, go away. Sorin...

Sorin didn't know if he wanted to go, if he wanted people, even new people. The maze, though, he might be able to wander, say he was going for a piss and get himself lost for a little bit and...

Luca grinned at him (the way he grinned at everyone, Luca liked everyone and that was why and how everyone liked him, you just wanted to grin back. And maybe, in the past, maybe Sorin had wanted to kiss his face a little, at the corner of his mouth where it dimpled. Not any longer, but the fondness lingered.)

"Wanna go out for a drink? You've never been to that new bar on Raduva street, have you?"

'A drink' was code for 'getting so drunk you will need to be carried home.'

It didn't sound as nice as the maze, but it did sound nice enough. "Who will be here?" He didn't think he could deal with Emil's whiny grumpiness tonight.

Luca looked rueful, like he could tell. "Just Florin and Serghei."

"Oh." Sorin looked down at his clothes. Not too bad under the apron. "Let me clean up here and wash up and I'll be right out."

Florin was the genial sort, and Serghei tended to be quiet; even his sarcasm was quiet. Should be fine.

He got cleaned up as best he could, stepped out, walked down with them.

Walking into the bar was like walking into a wall of sound, like breaking through bushes and every leaf was a full-throated laugh or a yell for a refill.

There was an area of relative calm -- Wulfenbach office workers, not in office clothes anymore but recognizable anyway, the fashion didn't match, so many still wore winged tower pins -- and a corner of totally separate hilarity -- five jaegers, ensconced in a far corner by the bar and only paying attention to each other. The rest of the bar was ...

"Wow, I didn't think it'd be so crowded!" Luca said.

Florin, standing right behind Sorin and pushing him forward without even really meaning to with his huge body, replied, shouting in Sorin's ear to get to Luca's, "Inter-guild competition, the final match is tomorrow!"

Luca sneaked him a glance, but then someone bumbled by juggling apples (badly) and he and Florin laughed and Serghei caught Sorin's sleeve to help him find a table. Then the other two were gone through the crowd to get drinks and Sorin could only sigh through his nose and follow.

It was hot and too busy in here, dim. Roaring. Ceiling too low, all exposed rocks and he didn't have a problem with tunnels but.

Luca and Florin came back with two beers, two brandies, and Florin shoved one of the brandies at him with a chuffing, challenging smile and yeah, good, Sorin had wanted to get drunk anyway. They sat and it was too noisy for long conversation, just bursts of "hey, did you see that" and "haha, wow."

A half-hour later Sorin was sipping through his first beer, second drink. Luca, Florin and Serghei were laughing, watching people shove each other around, yell insults across the wide, low-roofed room and its black rock pillars.

"Really not having a good day!" Luca yelled quietly at him, leaning shoulder to shoulder, and Sorin just shrugged and tried to smile.

"Didn't sleep well, is all."

"Your dad okay? It's autumn, right?"

Of course he would remember, of course he would ask, of course Sorin didn't want to think about -- "He's fine." Luca looked at him like he knew he was not, but it was _true_ , either he was getting better at hiding it when he got worse or his usual yearly downturn hadn't kicked in yet, and he was fine, Sorin's father was _fine_.

Not any worse than he'd been last week, at least.

An eruption of hooting beside them, men full of mirth and beer chortling so sudden he startled, winced.

Too much noise. He drained his beer; Luca pushed his own stein at him, face sympathetic (he was going to say they could leave, sometime soon, maybe another beer, the other guys would protest but Luca would; he'd tried to cheer Sorin up and it wasn't working, Sorin was sure he could tell it wasn't working so they were going to leave soon, they were, they would. Another drink first; he could hold on that long.)

He saw the Wulfenbach people filing out, and he could see why, things were getting rowdier -- no sneers, no insults, only the sports meet, only good competitive cheer but the mood could turn against outsiders -- invaders -- in a second. Smart. Good. There might be a brawl anyway, but probably a cleaner one, all in good fun...

"Refill, gentlemen?"

The barmaids were all borderline spilling out of their tops, the men were -- handsy, he didn't -- the bar was reputed to be sleazy but Sorin had thought it was just the late opening hour, people were so weird about that but _people kept touching him_.

Clapping his shoulders, leaning over him to put beers down on the table and hello breasts to the nose, loudly asking his opinion on which guild should win and of course a blacksmith should side with --

When a scuffle broke behind him he didn't turn around, he stiffened his shoulders and drank. Luca looked on all bright-eyed like he wouldn't mind it turning into a general brawl (didn't like to fight, but liked to watch, hah) but Sorin didn't want a brawl, not today when his father couldn't breathe without coughing that deep, bone-rattling cough and his, the person he was supposed to be dating (had gone on a date with once) was off at war and Master Iliescu kept looking at Sorin and wondering why he hadn't helped Rozalia, saved her somehow.

It sounded like it was calming down, at any rate, and then something broke near his head like an explosion of shards, and a body impacted so hard with his back he was shoved out of his stool; he stumbled, turned.

There was a man sprawled at his feet and everyone else was staring at him.

... Maybe because of the bar stool he'd grabbed by a leg, was holding ready to swing, so close to swinging.

"Hey, man, sorry!" someone called out. Sorin's friends were sitting with their drinks and staring at him with round, baffled eyes. Sorin's heart was in his throat, it was too hot in here, it prickled and if anyone shoved him again he would --

Sorin put the stool down and walked out.

The beer was crawling back up his throat. His hands shook, his knees shook, he felt like a leaf about to be torn from its tree. He thought if he hit someone hard enough, long enough, the feeling would go away.

He thought no one in there had done anything to deserve that.

He stumbled out of the door and let it swing closed behind him, cutting off the smoke and the noise. Outside it was cool and dark and nice, made his shakes worse for the absence, but also made them feel like they might pass at some point. He got himself to the low stone wall and sat at the corner to breathe.

"Gonna be sick? Iz early in de night for dat."

Sorin's nerves twanged, for a fraction of second balanced on the edge of whirling around and grabbing -- something, a rock, fisting his hand and attacking. His breath hitched, shoulders going tight, and then...

Cool air. Soothing dark. No attack. He tilted his head.

A jaeger sat on the wall a little farther down with a smoking pipe between his teeth, casual, unthreatened, unthreatening. Not anyone he'd done a job for, but.

Someone he couldn't hurt.

"Mm." His mouth was dry. It tasted like acid in his throat. He concentrated on breathing. "Just... one of those days."

The pipe briefly lit up as the jaeger took a drag, unconcerned. "Ho?"

He knew the man didn't care, probably found him ridiculous, silly, he knew but he needed to, he needed. "You ever feel so -- so on _edge_ that you just really want someone to actually attack you? For real, not for play? So that it's fine if you -- _shit_."

He bent forward, buried his face in his hands, breathed. Ran his hands through his hair, wished Velimir was here so he could _hold him down_ until the feeling went away.

An eye gleamed at him from under the hat. Casual, vague interest, still no care -- no judgment. "Huh. Gonna hurt somvun, boy?"

"Maybe -- no. I. They just, they wanted a _brawl_. I can't _do_ a brawl right now." He was breathing too fast, he was, what was the _matter_ with him? "Someone comes after me, I will hurt them, I _know_ they're just playing and I--"

"And hyu vant to kill sumtin."

Sorin unfolded, turned to snarl. "I don't _want_ to!"

He clenched his jaw shut, sat back, breathed through his nose. The jaeger hadn't moved at all, seemed unimpressed to the max.

The shaking was going down. Some. Oddly, getting angry at him helped.

The jaeger snorted, sneaked him a side look, faintly disdainful. What did a little townie understand about murderous rage, yeah? "Hyu iz _scared_ of killink sumtin."

"... Mnh."

"Ever did?"

Sorin hesitated. "Almost?" His voice was all rough and weird. "It would have been -- really easy. I don't even know if anyone bothered to fix him, if he's still got a scar, if he's got a goddamn artificial _jaw_ now, I can't brawl when I--"

Why was he unloading all this on a stranger. He reined himself in, swallowed. His throat was all knotted up.

"--Sorry. I shouldn't, shouldn't bother you with that. I just... Sorry."

The jaeger blew a perfect ring of smoke, and then a second. "Hyu de blacksmith boy, jah? Vhat does veapon fixings?"

Sorin blinked, startled. "--Uh. Yeah?"

The jaeger looked him over. "Huh. Interestink."

"What is?"

"Dat hyu almost kill sumvun once, but hyu dun feel stronger now und safe to play vith pipple. Dey iz weaker den hyu in dere, but hyu is scared of _hyu_. Und dangerous to dem _because_ hyu is scared of hyu. Fonny." He reclined against the bushes, scanning Sorin up and down, eyelids draped low in lazy disinterest. "Und yet hyu keep being friendly-nice und not scared ov us jaegerkin at all."

Sorin blinked. It hadn't been... the tone in his voice, he wasn't. He was wondering why, and he wasn't glad or pleased. Suspicious? Why would he -- wouldn't they like it, to meet people who didn't act terrified?

... Did most of them actually _enjoy_ scaring people?

This one -- Sorin thought, face catching with bitter, dizzying heat -- didn't want to be friends, had no interest in being friends, he just thought Sorin was weird and a bit pitiful and encroaching on his space.

"Oh, I -- met one of you, a few months back, and--" He almost said 'we hit it off,' and then didn't, because it would sound like 'he liked me, why don't you like me,' and there was no reason why any of them should. Veli's friends had welcomed him like he belonged a tiny little bit just from Veli wanting him there, but he _didn't_ belong, he didn't. He pushed himself up jerkily. "Sorry for bothering you. I'll. I'm good now, so. G'night."

He went home. He didn't trust himself on the wall, on the shingles, so he came in through the front door. His mother stared at him, at this flagrant proof of him coming in late, and didn't say a thing.

He didn't either.

\--

_~~... I miss you, I miss you, it all made sense with you and I miss you and I miss knowing what the holy thunderfuck is up with me and nothing is right here and I want to be on the road with you again, I want to be in the truck and driving and you're snoring in my ear, it was the scariest time of my life but I want to be driving through the mountains with you, it made sense, I want that, why can I not have that ...~~ _

\-------------------

"Sorin, get up!"

His sister was in his bedroom. Sorin growled at her and burrowed under his pillow. "I already told Mother I wasn't going to church today!"

He was prodded through the blankets, and burrowed deeper in and then refused to move any more.

"I know, silly! I'm not going either. Get up, c'mon."

If he wasn't getting up for church, why did she think he was going to get up for anything else? Hellfire and damnation, did he have to break a leg to have a moment's peace? "No. Go away."

"Okay, then, I'll go into the forest alone!" she chirped, moving toward the door. "I'm sure that old destroyed clank--"

Sorin sat up.

Standing in the doorway, Ludmilla grinned smugly.

\--

A week since the bar, and he'd gone to work, and kept working after Master Iliescu left, and gone home. He had filled his mind with the changing colors of heated metal and the arc of his hammer coming down and the precision of his hands turning a nail, one fourth of a turn, one fourth, one fourth.

It hadn't helped.

He trudged after his sister as she danced her way through the town gates -- obsidian and steel, kept wide open in daylight -- and over the moats, empty today. Walking past the long, narrow streets, the passersby watching, the walls, it took until he was on the side of the road with trees before him to realize it had stopped itching.

"Okay, it should be off the third marker," Ludy told him, swinging the wicker basket Mother usually took for market day. She would be _enchanted_ to find it full of rust and maybe a handful of mushrooms, if they found any. (It wasn't wet enough for mushrooms, but he let Ludy lie to herself about it.)

She didn't talk more than that, she hummed a bit and otherwise he could listen to the whispering leaves, the bird calls in the distance. Birds were good, it meant nothing bigger was coming.

He had to keep alert, but it wasn't the same kind of alert as back in town. ~~(If he hurt anything out here, it would have asked for it.)~~

There weren't even any carts from the mountain farms on the road. He could have walked forever.

"Okay, third marker!" Ludmilla disappeared into the bushes with no other warning. Sorin followed. His tool bag clanked a little on his back, but this one had two shoulder straps, he didn't have to let it swing freely at his hip.

"If you don't _wait for me_ , I don't care how well cleaned-out this part of the woods is, I will _drag you to the nearest wolf pack myself_."

His little sister went pff and disappeared from sight behind another bush. Sorin sped up, and started looking around for a vine of some sort to improvise a leash with.

\----

_... turns out it was just a family of squirrels nesting in the motors, and best we can figure out, when they stepped on some wires it made the eyes flicker, or something._

_So basically we screamed in terror and almost ran from frigging squirrels, but at least we got some neat if useless trinkets for Mistress Ludy's collection (brat) and about ten meters of copper wire for me, which I damn well will find a use for._

_You will then be asking yourself, where was the Disaster?_

_Yeah, that's the part where Other things than squirrels had found a nesting place in there, and when she hopped her way down the clank, Ludy hopped it straight through a rusty panel and right into a beehive._

_Long story short I got home at high noon under the nicely cooking sun covered in pond scum, because everyone knows that's how you avoid bees. By diving in ponds._

_Yeah, if you have something to breathe through and don't need to resurface._

_I have about five bee stings on my face, but three of them are on my scar, so hey, could have been worse._

_The weirdest part is still that when we came home drenched, stung, and with pockets full of useless crap -- after having missed Church for it -- my mother said nothing at all._

_Granted that doesn't mean she helped us with any of the patching up or cleaning up. It was kind of satisfying to drown my clothes in sudsy water, anyway. The stink was truly horrendous._

_I still miss you, but it's better now. I've been an absolute bear this last week for various reasons (my father's health is the one I can name best; I don't really know how to explain the rest) and to be honest I'm not too sure what to do about it. Something has got to change, but I'm not sure what yet. It would help if I had a clearer idea of the problem._

_Apart from the fact that you're not around, but to be honest, while it does make me sad (and also mildly Bothered, physically speaking), I don't think it's what's troubling me so much. It's just easier missing you than missing the town I thought I had. Also I've realized I'm a bit too into my work, my friends all party so much and I thought they were taking advantage of their youth to be complete slackers, to be honest, but apparently I'm the strange one. I like going out to the pub, I just don't... really miss it?_

_I do miss taking walks. Not in the streets. Note to self, do that more often, not on job-related errands. Those are not walks, they're cavalry charges._

_Whoof. This has gotten a bit too heavy. If I ever send this letter it's going to look like a novella on the topic of my navel-gazing more than a discussion. Let me tell you about ... Hm. I kind of want to ramble on about the new steel we've got to play with that apparently doesn't rust, but if it's not in a weapon already I am going to bore you to death. Suffice to say that there is new steel, it doesn't rust, and it's an absolute bitch and a half to work on. But dang, does it look pretty once polished. So sleek and shiny. You could decapitate a hog with the blade, and then admire yourself in it. ..._


	3. Chapter 3

Almost six months and it was late autumn now, he'd been twenty a whole month. Sorin was concentrating on his job. Master Iliescu had been making noises about him maybe being well-rounded enough to... hm. Nothing concrete -- a big project? for him? -- but it was promising. Energizing.

It was change. He couldn't wait.

Inside the caldera it was warm as always; the pear trees weren't sure they should lose their leaves yet, but the days had been shortening fast and their daylight with it. No amount of warmth could change that. He made a note to pass by Fraulein Gabor's grocery and get pears to bring home; they would probably be delicious. Maybe he'd give one to Yoan, as a treat; the kid had been making progress recently.

The flow of passersby slowed down a little and he started slinking between people, keeping up his brisk walk. At the corner there were a couple of town guards and a couple of jaegers in uniform walking slowly as one of the guards pointed things out; it was a bit heartening to see that people merely gave them a wide berth instead of running nowadays...

... Those horns reminded him of something.

He sped up to almost a jog, heels ringing on the pavement. He knew better than to come running at a jaeger from behind -- and they seemed busy, he didn't want to interrupt, he just...

"--Athanasi?"

The jaeger looked back over his shoulder, bushy eyebrows up. "Do Hy know hyu -- oh, hey, Curly!"

Sorin sputtered, laughed. Half of Velimir's squad hadn't managed to learn his name, the first time they met, and he didn't expect the ones who _had_ to still remember it six months later.

Velimir's squad.

He couldn't even pretend not to be smiling, a tentative, irrepressible thing. "... Is he _here_?"

The human guards were staring and so was the other jaeger -- one of the local ones, he'd seen him walk friends to the forge before and --

"Hohoho. Iz hyu town den? Explains vhy he lets us knock him in de river de odder day." Athanasi turned to the other jaeger, nodded wisely, horns and all. "Hot date, hyu know."

Sorin was choking back giggles and groaning. "Oh, good Lord, the jerk, he didn't even _write_ \--"

"He ken write, now?" Athanasi asked, face dumb and eyes gleaming a little evilly. Sorin had the feeling he'd just handed him live ammunition and the gun that went with it.

"No, of course not," Sorin countered with a face as serious as he could make it, which right now meant not at all. "He mostly just sends me handprints and indecent drawings. Very bad indecent drawings, not even any use that way, and I'm very sorry to interrupt, I'll let you gentlemen... Thanks!" he called out, already running past them.

Oh red fire. Velimir was in town. Velimir was in town!

Velimir was in town and had told him _nothing_.

Velimir was in town and probably busy doing things -- was this troop rotation? Were they exchanging one set of jaegers for another? He'd be busy learning the ropes then, wouldn't he, so busy, there was no telling where in town he would be, but surely he'd find Sorin as soon as he could and, yeah, okay, the castle and its garrison were two streets over, Sorin was completely taking a detour.

The crowds would surely be less busy over there, let him through faster. Yeah, that was his excuse and he didn't even pretend to believe it. Never mind. Master Iliescu was going to see his grinning face and just read the truth behind any excuse he could figure out, there was no way the man wouldn't. It would just be a short detour, just to check...

The castle's simple, square courtyard stood open, and there was no one in the guardhouse -- maybe you'd have to be daft to try to sneak in through the garrison. Maybe they'd gone off for two minutes to piss.

Sorin had never been in there. Even now he didn't dare venture farther than the line of dark stones marking the doorstep, not uninvited.

People walked back and forth in the yard, mechanics working on a clank, someone with a pile of papers wearing a cravat, a young messenger boy barreling through on a unicycle of all things.

It really felt like Wulfenbach territory in there. Sorin knew they administered the rest of the town until a good successor could be found amongst the Viscountess' possible heirs -- most of whom had never even been _in_ Vulkanburg before -- but this was completely their domain.

There were a few jaegers all the way across the yard, under the arches, half in the shadows. He scanned them twice to be sure, but none of them were Velimir. His heart fell a little, stupidly.

"Your pardon? Can I help you?" someone asked him, so suddenly he startled. The man with the paper pile had made a detour and was now standing before him. He had weird slit eyes like a cat's, with no visible whites, and snakelike scales on his cheeks. Huh.

But not jaegerkin. "Um, maybe. I was looking for a jaeger..." The man waved impatiently at the group loitering under the gallery. Sorin shook his head. "No, I mean a specific one?"

One of them had caught the man pointing, was ambling their way, trailed by laughing friends. Locals, not Veli's squad. Looked like none of them were there. Shoulders slumping, Sorin was almost tempted to just leave, too embarrassed; only the knowledge that if he did, someone would come after him and drag him back for questioning got him to stay put.

"This man. For you." The man with the cat eyes sniffed disdainfully and turned away on his heel, stalked off.

"Hoy, Hy iz not de doorman --"

"Hey, hyu iz de blacksmith kid," another one said, and crowded in. "Vhat hyu vant? Delivery?"

Pinking, Sorin braced himself. "No, actually, I was looking for Veli--"

"Oh! Veli! Vell, he -- ow."

His friend's elbow had buried itself in his ribs. He was now frowning at Sorin. "And how hyu know Veli, hmm?"

"I know him," Sorin said, exasperated (more from his own embarrassment than from their attitude), "in ways that aren't _any of your business_ , I can guarantee that."

The jaeger puffed up. (Pretty literally, with the fur and the scales and all.) "Hokay, vhat dat mean?!"

"Yeah! Our brodder'z bizness is totally our bizness!"

Two of them were glowering at him. The third shrugged philosophically and put two fingers in his mouth, whistled toward the back of the yard. "Hoy! Somvun see Veli around?"

Several windows opened on the first level, people peeking out. Sorin groaned. "Oh no. I didn't want to disturb everyone, listen, it was just--"

" _Hoy!_ "

\--Oh.

 _Oh_. There he was. At the window. At the other end of the yard, corner room. He waved, then turned to talk to someone Sorin couldn't see, back inside, yes, must be busy still, maybe in a meeting? Well, Sorin would just see him later -- and then he was swinging out over the windowsill and dropping down and _bouncing_ at Sorin.

Sorin barely had time to brace (had time to smile) before Velimir was on him, barreling through his friends.

Impact. Whirl. Sorin was laughing, winded by the shock. The courtyard twirled around them and he made a noise of protest, mostly for show.

Wall at his back. Feet off the ground.

"Hey dere, sveethart."

(Baron's people all around -- Baron's people did not gossip -- of course they gossiped but the locals wouldn't believe them much and the locals cared more, the jaegers were laughing and jeering and maybe everyone would think it was a joke, maybe --)

(Maybe not with the way Sorin was kissing back, with his arms coming up around Velimir's neck, with tongue and teeth and that warmth exploding in his guts -- lower than that, with the laugh that kept spilling out from every crack.)

"Hey, you big lug," he whispered, nose to nose, Velimir's leathery scales rasping against his skin. "You didn't write."

Velimir pouted, couldn't hold it two seconds. His eyelids shone, his lips, even his dratted _nose holes_ and it was endearing somehow. "Hy vanted to make it a surprise."

"I was surprised!" Sorin kicked out a bit, half-heartedly. "Were you planning to appear at my bedroom window or what?"

"--Pfff. Oh, hey, goot plan."

"Yeah, the neighbors sure would think so." What a useless rebuttal; he couldn't stop grinning. Velimir allowed him to slip to the ground, and oh, they were in a shadowed recess a few steps off the gate, absolutely invisible from the outside and not very visible from the windows either.

Velimir couldn't stop grinning either. His teeth weren't even alarming at this point, they were _adorable_ , oh, Sorin was in so deep.

"... Hi. I just wanted to see if you were here, but you probably have job things to do, and so do I actually and, I mean, I was on an errand so I have some leeway but not that much --"

"Ve vos just finished talking. Gotta go in five but not everyone is ready yet, so hey. Some of dem izn't even _dressed_." He lifted his chin in mock-disdain. Sorin smoothed down the high line of his uniform collar, buttoned to the jaw.

He couldn't even put words on the way Velimir looked at him but it made things tingle under his ribs, it made him warm from head to toes, it--

 _He likes me too,_ he thought, and wasn't sure why that was such a surprise.

But it was. Not friendly like, with lust on top. More.

"Oh _ho_. So de boy ektuelly _ekzist!_ Hy iz surprized."

Velimir threw a sideways look, arms slipping free of Sorin's waist to plant themselves on the wall around him instead. Slightly more decent. Unmistakably possessive. Sorin was never going to stop blushing. "Go kiss a cannon by de hotter end, Freik."

Sorin snorted loudly, hid his burning face against Velimir's shoulder. "Oh good Lord have mercy, this is going to become a heckling party. It completely is, I can tell."

"Hoy, hyu slackers! Check hyu veapons, get ready to go! Velimir, de hell hyu doink?"

Sorin chanced a glance over Velimir's shoulder, and oh baby Jesus in heaven, someone kill him. It was the jaeger from the bar. Outside the bar, technically. _Awgh_.

"Sayin' hallo to mine sveetie?" Velimir said, and tried on a harmless grin, which the other jaeger bought not even a little, from the long deadpan look he leveled at Sorin's lover.

"Well, hyu haz said hi. Now -- huh, forge keed. Hyu again."

Sorin swallowed a groan, and forced himself to meet his eyes. "Yes sir. Hi. Um. Sorry about last time."

Veli's eyes were going from one to the next, eyebrows up. "Hyu guys met?"

Oh god, had they met. Yeah. Wow, look at that... gold braid thing on Veli's uniform. Fascinating. "Mnh. Yeah."

"Jah, und is verra impolite to leave before Hy vos done imparting mine drunken visdom on hyu," the other man said with a snort. Blushing, Sorin looked up. The man still had an eyebrow up as he looked from Veli to Sorin, like 'huh, _really_.' "But ve talk about dat later mebbe. Corporal?"

Veli heaved out a sigh, glow dimming noticeably. "Sir, yes sir, right away, sir." He pecked Sorin's temple, flicked him a side grin. "Hy find hyu later, jah?"

He was gone at a smart trot in the next second, hooves ringing on the paved stones. The other jaeger watched him go, hands on his hips, then turned to arch an eyebrow at Sorin. Sorin tore his eyes away from his lover's ass in uniform pants.

"Yeah, um. I'll go. Sorry for the disturbance."

A sigh through his nose, a faint smile, an eyeroll. "Jah, jah. Off vith hyu now."

"Yessir." He slinked his way to the door, persuaded that everyone in the courtyard was watching his exit.

He was embarrassed to the end of the street, and then he was giddy like a kid. Veli was in _town_ , and he was going to stay a while, and he was _happy to see him_.

Sorin raced all the way back to the forge.

(He caught himself humming in rhythm with his hammer strikes seven times that afternoon. Yoan asked Master Iliescu if he was alright. Master Iliescu pretended he'd gone deaf.)

\--

No Velimir when he closed up the shop. Mnergh. It was dark -- autumn nights fell early, and it wasn't that early. He trudged home, unable to stop glancing around for a jaeger strolling down his streets all coincidental-like, but that didn't happen either.

Meh. He got home, called out a half-hearted greeting -- his father greeted him back from his seat before the chimney, tired-looking, but smiling too.

The ritual exchange. "How was work?"

"Eh, pretty good. How was your day?"

(He'd stopped asking his father how he felt a while ago. If he had a good day, he would probably say it. Or it would show. Or... something. It was habit by now, the elephant in the room, and Sorin was almost as good at ignoring it as he'd been at ignoring other young men in the baths.)

After, he got a candle and went up to his bedroom to change out of his dirty clothes, and when he opened the door Velimir was perched on the roof and waving.

Sorin had the window open in approximately five seconds.

"Hoy dere."

He found himself kneeling up on his mattress, the candle stand still in hand. "How on earth did you find me," Sorin replied, voice quiet, still grinning like a fool.

"Followed you from de shop?"

...Yeah, okay, Sorin was stretching out to slap his shoulder, and it wasn't at all because he wanted to be touching him already. "You could have just showed up! You creep, what was that about?"

Velimir pretended to be contrite, with little success. "Didn't vant people to see me walking hyu home, darlink. Und iz not much more creepy den looking up hyu home address from de administrative building."

Sorin gave him a suspicious look, and then sighed. "... Which you also did."

"... Which hy also did."

Sorin leaned forward to muffle his laughter in the crook of his elbow, which was bracing him on the windowsill. He should probably put the candle down somewhere, but his mattress was not safe for it and he really didn't want to widen the space between the two of them just yet. Or even just turn away and stretch toward the headstand.

"Good golly gee. I'm being stalked from the shadows. How terrible. No. Help."

"Hy iz actually Nosferatu." Veli nodded wisely. "Invite me iiin... Soriiin, invite me iiiiiin..."

His grin was so bright, so challenging. So hungry.

Sorin's throat was a little dry.

"Vade retro, you horse's ass," he managed with a nervous laugh, and then sobered up a little. Shuffling closer to the wall on his knees, he braced both elbows on the windowsill, pressed a hand to the outside of Velimir's knee. "... Actually, I'd rather you didn't come in."

"--Oh."

Oh no, no uncertainty on that face, it was wrong. No, stop. "Because," Sorin forced out, "if you come in we are going to end up _fucking_ on my bed, and I'm perfectly okay with fucking you on my bed, I've had very nice thoughts on the topic of fucking you on my bed, only -- only I want it to be under my own roof too. Not --"

"...Not your parents'."

Sorin's voice had gone all rough, veiled. He couldn't tell what Veli thought about that. "Yeah."

"D'aww." A smile, quiet and soft, and Sorin flushed from the throat up. "Hokay. Get a house fast den." His voice dropped into a purr. "Hy iz going to think about it a _lot_."

Sorin blushed some more, and then blinked and gave him an alarmed look. "I didn't mean we couldn't do it elsewhere!"

Velimir toppled forward against the window frame, hugging his stomach, a fist crammed in his mouth, and laughed himself breathless.

Sorin really should have expected the noise to result in Ludy's window popping open, and her head and upper body following suit.

"Why are you laughing on our roof?" was the first thing she asked the unknown, toothy war monster on goat legs, her eyebrows knit doubtfully.

Sorin spluttered. Veli wiped his eyes and then waved at her, grinning. "Becawz hyu brother is de silliest thing Hy ever meet."

"-- _Hey_."

Veli rolled his eyes at him, threw him a teasing smirk, and turned back to Sorin's sister. "Hi dere, miz Ludmilla. Hy hear a lot about hyu."

"I haven't heard about you at all!" she retorted, vexed, and glared at Sorin, who scowled back.

Velimir made a shocked face. "Vhat, really? Hy iz hurt! So hurt. Hy might throw mine self off dis roof out ov despair."

"... Velimir, if you keep it up, you won't have to throw yourself, _I will push you_." And then probably he'd bounce right back up. Pff. Sorin turned back to his sister, hanging half out of his window the way she was. "He's the guy I ran off with that time-- jaeger. The jaeger I."

Oh hey, how about _Sorin_ rolling out of his window and off the roof? Yeah, intriguing idea.

"You get what I mean. Anyway he's on guard duty in town for --" Oh. He didn't even know how long--

"Two months," Velimir supplied, eyes still laughing, but gentler.

"--Right. Yeah. So now you know and can buzz off."

Only two months. Blergh.

He really hoped she hadn't heard anything incriminating. They'd been talking pretty quietly before Velimir started laughing his tush off, which was something.

"Oh, come on!" Ludmilla protested. "You're always telling me only the boring parts and nothing else, I bet he wouldn't -- you wouldn't, right? -- Why can't I talk to your friend, that's not nice, if you've got guests then--"

"Yeah, actually, we were leaving," Sorin interrupted.

She squeaked. " _Can I come with--_ "

" ** _Absolutely not._** "

"Ahh, leetle seesters," Velimir sighed, nostalgic. Sorin and Ludmilla paused their staring contest to glare at him. He smiled back. "Hy iz in town a while, we can talk later, jah? Today ve planned to go to places a young lady should not go unless she haz a good death ray." A pause. "Und probably good contra... baby-stopping things."

Face burning, Sorin grabbed the candle, threw himself back onto his bed, and slammed the window closed. After a few seconds of reflection, he also closed the drapes.

"--Hoy!"

"Shut up, I'm just changing!" The candle had gone out from moving it so fast; he had to go around searching for his matches before he could actually do it.

The tiles creaked a little under Velimir's hooves, but he didn't say anything back to that, which Sorin had halfway expected and could provide himself, actually -- probably a disappointed 'aw' was the most obvious.

"Also don't say those things to my sister!"

"But iz important practical information--"

" _Velimir_ ," Sorin growled under his breath, and knew he could hear him even through the glass. "My sister does not need to know these things. My sister will never need to know these things."

"... Hy think unless she iz like hyu, but de other vay, she kind of does," Velimir said. "-- Ho, nah, he iz grousing, hyu know him, alvays something to gripe about--"

Sorin made an irritated noise as he got changed out of his work clothes -- pretty much just the pants, really, the shirt was fine -- oh, maybe a vest, it was going to get cold out there... no, wait. Fair bet they were going to end up exploring some... Um. Warmer places. Okay, no vest then. He dropped it and walked out of his room.

That was kind of half-undressed already. Wasn't it. He rushed back in, put the vest back on, half-buttoned it, then just. Did he care if he looked unkempt to any nosy neighbors still peering behind their blinds at this hour? He was a young man running with a jaeger, even carrying an open bottle of rum and a woman of negotiable affections under each arm wouldn't make it much worse.

Did he want to make Velimir's access even a tad harder?

Face scarlet, he kept the vest on, but unbuttoned it all the way down, and thought he was the most ridiculous person he had ever heard of.

When he finally emerged into the corridor, his sister had opened her door and was staring at him expectantly, but he didn't stop to talk to her, bouncing down the stairs at breakneck speed.

"Mother, I'm going out, I'll have dinner in town!" he threw in passing, not even asking for permission a little bit.

Or giving her any time to notice his expression either. He didn't have a clue what his face was doing. Probably something outrageously embarrassing.

He jumped almost out of his skin when the closing door was halted in its tracks and his mother stepped out onto the front step.

And then she looked straight at Velimir, and her face--

For a too-long handful of seconds Sorin's heart and lungs were a block of terrified ice in his chest. He couldn't think of a single word to say, and he couldn't have made his mouth say them if he had.

"Ah. It's you," she said at last. Velimir, face uncharacteristically neutral, lifted a hand and tipped his hat.

"Iz me." A brief pause. "I promise I bring him back safe this time around," he added, almost unaccented.

"See that you do," Sorin's mother replied, spearing him with a steely, oddly threatening look.

Did she blame Velimir for him getting hurt? No, but the situation hadn't been Veli's fault, and the odds had been bad, it was already lucky Sorin had come out alive, and not even a little crippled.

"Mother--"

She glanced at him, and the pinch of her lips softened into something... gentler, sadder, more tired. "Go," she said. "Go have fun. But do remember you have to be at work tomorrow early."

And here he'd been all ready to storm out like he was a big strong man who needed no permission, and he was getting it anyway. Sorin chuckled a little, rueful, embarrassed, and scratched the hair at the base of his skull. "I will. G'night, Mother."

She went back inside, closed the door. Sorin gave Velimir a helpless look, at a loss. He gave a little laugh -- awkwardness, relief. Veli was sucking on his cheek, lips rolled, pinched inward like he was making it a point not to have any organ available to make words with.

Their eyes met and Sorin started laughing. Veli followed him, rough chuckles, quiet; he threw an arm around Sorin's neck and started pulling him down the street. Sorin stumbled against his side, leaned in. "Hey! Careful, you jerk. Oh man, do mothers ever get not scary?"

Velimir cleared his throat like a laugh. "Mine momma never did. Needed to, though, vith all mine brodders und sisters to keep in check. Dere vos, like, six or seven of us." (Sparkling warmth under his ribs, Sorin almost asked how one managed to forget the exact number of one's siblings, and then didn't, in case the answer was that one of them had died early on. ... Well, by now they were all long dead. Urgh, depressing.) "But hyu momma iz extra-scary! Hy tink she win against any sarge Hy got."

He ruffled Sorin's hair without warning, making a royal mess of it. Sorin spluttered, unable to escape due to still being tucked under his arm (and not trying too hard, to be honest.)

"Hey--! Careful or I'll tell on you!"

"Oh no!" Velimir exclaimed, and then leaned in and added, quieter, rougher, "How do Hy have mine way vith hyu then?"

"... That... would indeed be difficult. Oh man, you're lucky they don't know, we've got this old matchlock in storage for Ludy's suitors--" Velimir paused in the middle of the street to stare down at him. Babbly and awkward with nerves and want, Sorin snorted, nudged him in the side. "I'm kidding."

"Hy dun think hyu _momma_ is kiddink," Velimir replied drolly, and his arm tightened around Sorin's shoulders as he started walking again. Sorin wondered if it would show, if anyone was looking and could tell what was going on. It wasn't like the arm was resting anywhere improper or even suspicious.

It made his whole body tight and warm with anticipation, ridiculously twitchy. He wanted to melt against Veli. He wanted to shove him against a wall and _bite_.

They were in the middle of town.

"So I don't think you want to tour the taverns and... I mean, food stands will almost all be closed at this hour, apart from the ones around the castle, but they'll be full of Wulfenbach people and -- maybe you wouldn't mind. Do you have any friends--"

Velimir made the oddest noise. It started out scratchy like a cat's purr, ended with the slow, low rattling of a vicious dog.

"Mine friends may vant to see me touching you in places. Some ov dem are pretty pervy. Hy dun think hyu do."

Sorin's face caught on fire.

"Hy... dunno if hyu vant it today... Hy ken wait." He kept walking against Sorin's side, brushing and rolling and still not letting go. He wasn't looking at Sorin, he was staring ahead. He looked almost grim in the shade of his hat, only not quite. "Only Hy haff been waiting six months, und also mine friends show me de good drinking places today already, und hy really, really vant--"

Sorin took in a shuddering breath, and then eeled out from under his arm.

"--Vot?"

Turned to face him, Sorin kept walking backwards in slow, cautious steps. Lesse, they were on Prince Mihai street...

He grinned, breathless and stupid, and leaned in to tap Velimir's elbow.

"Tag, you're it."

He took off at a dead run, uphill -- which immediately required too much effort, but somehow he was motivated. Behind him Velimir burst out laughing.

A clatter of hooves on the pavement -- just a bit too slow, he knew how fast the jaeger could move when he wanted to -- and Sorin dodged onto a narrow backstreet.

He wasn't surprised in the least when the next noises he heard came from the roof.

It really cramped his style that the tunnels were closed, but he managed to get out onto another street, scrambled under Frau Stanciu's parked carriage (she always left it half out in the street, since it didn't fit in her garage.) The noises Velimir made after him were growing fainter, a quiet click as a tile moved on landing, cloth rustling, a sense of presence. A quiet, throaty laugh, sometimes.

Sorin hopped his way over a fence, in and out of someone's herb garden in a flash. He hadn't heard any sound for too long, thirty seconds, too long, and this alley led where he wanted to go but it seemed too dark suddenly. He went to turn into it, then rushed across the opening to go for the next one.

"--Oi!" Velimir protested from the alley, and Sorin laughed even as he raced, as he grabbed for the corner of the house, the stone scraping his palm as he used it to turn tight into --

A push against his back sent him tottering into the alley.

"Tag," Velimir purred against the back of his neck. "Hyu iz it."

Sorin threw himself backward, whirled, grabbing for Velimir -- laughing with exhilarated glee, with need and want. He missed -- the jaeger dodged low under his hand, jumped ahead into the dark alley to land on his hands like a cat (how bendy _was_ his spine, Sorin would have landed on his _face_ , broken his wrists.)

It was dark and full of odds and ends that could trip him, catch at his clothes and skin. Full of the glow of Velimir's smile, his hell-glow mouth. Sorin gave chase.

The last street before the edge of the caldera. Sorin caught a glimpse of Velimir around a corner -- staying mercifully at ground level. Putting in a last burst of speed, he reached the corner --

Went down on one knee, and Velimir bent over to grab for him, startled, and Sorin tackled him around the knees.

They stumbled back against the wall, Velimir ass first, sputtering -- "Thot hyu tripped!" Sorin pressed his body tight against him as he regained his footing, and grinned right up into his face.

"Tag!"

He knew exactly how close Velimir was when he scrambled over the last wall, could feel him pacing him step for step, a bare handful of inches away from snatching at him, picking him up, pinning him down. He couldn't see him but he felt him on every inch of his skin like static.

Labyrinth of cracked volcanic stone, crazy tangled paths between the flat-topped rocks, a warren open to the sky, though the paths ran between two and ten feet deep under the broken surface, and he knew it by heart.

Sorin wanted to catch Velimir -- get caught -- kiss him, he'd wanted to at the last corner but not out in a public street full of trash. If they'd started kissing there, oh, doing it against a wall, having _sex_ against a wall -- yes, no, yes, exciting but wrong for them, wrong for now, and he wanted--

Arms closed around his waist and everything whirled around them. Breath knocked out of his lungs though Velimir had ended up under him, cushioned him, he wriggled to be let go; Velimir rolled the both of them around, pinned him.

"Good?" Veli growled, purred in his ear.

Sorin thrashed briefly under him, and got nowhere. He was face down against the path and there were he didn't know how many pounds of muscles and maleness on top of him, whispering _right in his ear_ \--

"Sorin. Still fun?"

"Yes! Yes. I'm. Yes." He couldn't get enough breath, and it had nothing to do with Velimir's weight on his chest. "Do something, _please_ \-- I swear if you say 'tag' and run I'll--"

Teeth on the back of his neck, digging in a bit, dull enough not to slice -- just holding on, a large, warm hand pushing its way under his belly, between his thighs, cupping him firm and tight through his pants. A hard dick pressed, _rutted_ against his ass through too many layers of cloth, still impossibly warm.

It didn't take either of them very long.

The ground radiated warmth under Sorin. Dust and tiny pebbles packed in the cracks under them; it still wasn't the softest place.

Velimir still had an arm around his chest and the hand of the other cupping his groin. Sorin felt perfectly alright never moving again.

"I can't believe you got me to shoot in my pants," he mumbled, smiling with his eyes closed.

"Did it too," Veli countered, and nuzzled at his hair, kissed the back of his head. "Not too squashed?"

"I am exactly the right amount of squashed," Sorin said, and oozed some more under him. "Don't you dare move."

" _Pfffff_. Shore ting, sveethart."

They cuddled on the ground for... Sorin wasn't sure, fifteen minutes, a half-hour, perhaps, before the stones under Sorin started being more of a pain than a comfort. Also the mess in his pants was hardly growing nicer to wallow in.

"Dun suppose dere's running water anywhere around," Veli said mournfully as he sat up. Sorin looked at him and started laughing; he had an imprint of Sorin's curls on his cheek.

"Yeah, no, rivers are pretty rare up here." He climbed to his feet, held his hand out. "C'mon, let's get deeper in. Maybe somewhere with more light, too..."

It felt really nice when Velimir did take his hand, and _did_ let Sorin handle most of his weight in the process of getting him back up, the jerk.

The jerk who liked it when Sorin was strong too. Mngh. Mmh.

"Oho, hyu vant light, huh?"

"So I can see what I need to clean up! We don't all have freakish night vision and I'm not going home with a big stain on my pants."

"... Here Hy thought hyu vos being all romantic-like, in de absence of candlelight und all."

Sorin snorted, and guided Velimir deeper into the maze, where the walls of cracked stone rose up and there were alas no running streams of anything but lava.

The golden-red light made his green skin look pretty cadaverous, but Sorin was already used to him coming in strange shades. His pale sea-foam hair, though, when Sorin combed both hands through it... That looked nice, firelight dancing over it.

(He didn't even protest when Sorin dislodged his hat, just made sure it was safe on a nearby rock after it fell for the fourth time.)

They talked a little, though Sorin couldn't have said what about later, in between kissing, and when they disrobed to see what could be done for their clothes it was not really a surprise that he ended up naked, straddling Veli's lap, both hands kneading the muscle cording down the jaeger's spine. Dry heat caressed Sorin's back like an oven left open; living heat in front, Velimir's mouth wet and hungry on his.

"So nostalgic," Velimir teased him, forehead to forehead, his eyes hooded in a long smirk. "Lava _effrywhere_."

"Keep reminding me and see how well I manage to get it up," Sorin groused, not at all sincerely.

Velimir snorted out a loud laugh against Sorin's bare shoulder as his hands kneaded down Sorin's sides, caged his hips. "Hyu iz nineteen, hyu can totally get it up."

"I'm twenty actually, I ca--aaahn _fuck_."

Hands slid onto his ass, curving along to get to the underneath, rocking him against the jaeger's most decidedly not age-wilted erection. "Mine mistake. Hyu iz _twenty,_ hyu can totally get it up." He nuzzled into his neck, breathing deep, and Sorin wasn't sure how exactly the mere sound of his lover's breath deepening could get to him so badly. "See? Vot do ve haff here--"

Sorin grunted and nibbled sulkily on his shoulder and the edge of his floppy ear, and rolled his hip forward to poke him in the belly with the tip of his rising shaft. "Yeah, but it's still not a _happy_ getting up! Why d'you _think_ I've got my back to the canal."

Note to self, make Velimir laugh while nakedly sprawled on him more often. The way his body shook made Sorin's crotch parts go -- wow. Yes.

The way his mouth tilted up at the corners, the soft curve of his eyes, that made other parts go yes, higher up.

"Still not a lot ov places in dis city to meet up und haff de quality time vith each other's fun parts... Vant to go out to de woods instead?"

Oh wow. Doing it against a tree. _Up_ in a tree. Like he could have that first time Velimir kissed him, if he hadn't freaked out. He shivered. "Yesplease."

Um.

"But well. We're here now. So we might as well -- you know. Finish up here first."

He had to tighten his hold around Velimir's chest, or the jaeger would have knocked Sorin right off his lap. Muffling shrieks against his neck, Velimir laughed himself hoarse.

His hands were still on Sorin's ass. It was ridiculous; it wasn't long before Sorin followed, laughing so hard he teared up and his stomach muscles started to ache.

"Next date, then?" Velimir said, still snickering, and leaned back to grin at him so wide, the lava light made his teeth glow. "Hy build hyu a nize treehouse vorthy of hyu... und also dat holds up vell so Hy ken bugger hyu hard as Hy vant vithout dat pesky gravity ting interrupting us."

Oh. Velimir inside him. _Oh_. "... Yeah, you basically ensured that I wouldn't get it up in the tree either," he said, voice wavering.

Velimir leaned in to kiss the tip of his nose, the corner of his mouth, and one of his hands slipped between the two of them to curl around Sorin's now aching erection, to pump it slow and certain. "If iz de same not getting it up as right now Hy feel pretty okay vith that."

He licked his way into Sorin's mouth, humming happily. Sorin surged against him until Veli was pressed against the rock at his back, and wrapped his own hand around Velimir's absurd, lovely glowing shaft, and they pressed against each other and rocked together and kissed and kissed until they came again.

The third time, spread out on their clothes, they tried out using their mouths instead of hands. It was a pretty rousing success.

So was the handholding afterwards, curled face to face, wordlessly playing with each other's hair.

Sorin felt awkward and too young and inexperienced every time he went in for another shallow, tender brush of lips that said too much about all the words pressing up under his ribs, but a little less every time Velimir kissed him back the exact same way.

\--

"Why did hyu tell them Hy vos writing to hyu," was the first thing Veli said to him the next day, as he perched on Sorin's roof once again. He was laughing in between attempts to look anguished, so Sorin didn't take it extremely seriously.

Sorin climbed up to straddle the windowsill. "Hey--"

"No, dey keeps calling me schmott boy now und other stupid things--"

"It slipped out, sorry!" He made a sympathetic grimace; when Veli came to sit against the other window edge like Sorin imagined a whale beaches itself, Sorin stretched to pat his shoulder in apology.

He wanted his hand to linger, but he was reasonably sure that several neighbors could see them from there, even if they couldn't see very well with the edge of the roof blocking the nearest street light.

Yesterday had been so _nice_. It made Sorin want to just sit thigh to thigh and lean against him for another hour, to ruffle that stupid pale hair, play with his ridiculously huge hands.

They couldn't do it every day, but this was only the second day; it wouldn't be greedy, right...?

"Of course," Veli told him, voice low, smiling a secret smile, "dey only say de mean, untrue things because dey don't have a young man of their own. Jealousy is so ugly, jah?"

Sorin snorted out a laugh. "Veli... You _can_ write."

"Pssh." Velimir flicked a hand in the air in dismissal. "Let's not say de vexatious tings."

"You're ridiculous," Sorin told him, cheeks aching a bit from his grin.

"Not."

"Are."

"Not. Hyu."

"Nope. Double-you forever."

Velimir let out a totally unconvincing growl and snatched his ankle, gave it a tug; Sorin grabbed for the windowsill between his knees, though he was pretty sure nothing would happen.

Nothing did, apart from Veli leaving his hand there, his last two fingers against skin. Sorin's shoes were still on the floor of his bedroom, his feet bare, and it was ludicrous that this tiny contact would give him tingles in such a way.

Relatively tiny. Velimir's hand was wide enough that his thumb circled the bottom curve of Sorin's calf, right there in the dark where the edge of the roof meant no one would see.

"Guess that means I can throw out that gigantic letter, then," Sorin said, and almost managed philosophically.

"--Gigantic letter wot."

Sorin cleared his throat, looked away. Wow, that sure was a bedroom in there. "Hey, I was bored! But if you can't read it's definitely a waste of three hundred pages. I guess they'll do as kindling."

A tug on his leg had his butt sliding an inch forward, and he yelped. Velimir's upper body turned toward him, his eyes glowing in the dark under his hat.

"No burning ov mine letter allowed! Give it here, Hy want it."

"But you can't read it?" Sorin countered, smiling a little, though it was still hard to look at him.

"Hy vill hold it right next to mine heart und carry it into battle so it ken sponge up mine heart's blood, now _give_."

"No! It's your turn to write."

Veli glowered at him for a minute, lower lip jutting out sulkily, then he glanced over Sorin's shoulder into the bedroom, taking it in with quick little searching glances. Sorin tried to kick him.

"Hey, no cheating, you still can't come in."

Velimir hummed distractedly. "Hy vos thinking of enlisting hyu sister. Hy bribe her vith tales of adventures, she vill go through all hyu things, is mine bet."

"Are you kidding, she would read it first!"

Veli flicked him a toothy grin. "Ooh? Dere anyting in dere a sveet leetle seester ought to not see? Anyting... _improper_?"

Sorin's cheeks had gone unreasonably hot. He glowered back. "Just _guess_."

Velimir's shoulders shook with a silent laugh. "Vell den. Unless hyu is writing them naughty things to someone else, looks like it is indeed mine letter und Hy really vant to see it. Iz miz Ludy perchance home tonight?"

Glowering, Sorin kicked three or four times, as well as he could with his ankle still being caught like this.

"... Ach, just kidding. Hy vould not ask miz Ludy." A long, melancholy sigh. "Oh well. Hy vill just have to train up a search veasel."

"--Pff."

"Aha! A smile."

Sorin pressed his lips together. "You're going blind in your old age, gramps." A pause. "I guess that means you really can't read that letter! Whoops."

"Sorin." Velimir turned, went on one knee, leaned in. It probably looked threatening from the outside; Sorin's body was too busy flushing from the looming, the closeness, hoping for closer. "Mine brothers all know Hy read now. _All of them_. If dey don't know now dey vill know de next time any of dem meets one who does. If Hy got to? Hy vill _go to another one who reads_ und _get him to read it for me_."

Sorin groaned, wriggled his ankle a little bit, futilely. "It's not that interesting..."

"Iz mine."

"No, seriously, I could just tell you what's in it--"

"Mine."

"Veli--"

"Miiiine." Sorin opened his mouth; Veli went, "Ah! Hy vill _pout_."

Sorin gave in, laughing despite himself. "Alright, let go, I'll get it."

He slipped back inside his room, lifted up his mattress, ears warm from the awareness that Veli was watching him do it. The letter was actually inside the mattress cover and not on the frame, which would have been too obvious.

He put the mattress back, knelt on it to hand the letter up to Veli.

"...C'mon," Veli said. "Let's move a bit."

"Hm?" Sorin climbed back out onto the roof, still feeling awkward. The bulging letter had disappeared inside Velimir's uniform jacket. He smiled at Sorin, fingers twitching like he wanted to hold out his hand, and then he was hopping up to the ridge and signaling for Sorin to follow. Sorin climbed cautiously, the tiles a bit slippery even with his bare feet.

Another house backed up against theirs, the roof lower, as it was on a street closer to the bottom of the caldera. It was dark up there when he stayed low, the light seeming caged down in the streets by the edges of the roofs.

Velimir skidded down Sorin's roof, hopped onto the neighbors', four feet lower, held out a hand. Sorin took it, let him help him down, though he could have cleared it on his own well enough. The slope was a bit sharp...

There, a couple of steps away, a chimney bulged. Velimir sat next to it, tugged him down. Sorin wedged himself in against his side, between him and the wall of his own house.

"No one can see us from here?" he asked in a whisper, to confirm.

"Unless dey iz on de roofs that we can see from here," Velimir replied quietly, an arm wrapping itself around his waist. Sorin leaned against him and slid his own arm around his shoulders.

Velimir reached into his jacket for the letter, tugged the pages out and onto his lap. Sorin said nothing, leaning his cheek against Veli's shoulder.

Velimir didn't read fast; Sorin watched him mouth the words to himself, the glowing inside of his lips, watched him chuckle or go "hoy, now".

Sorin had taken out the scribbled-out page long ago, but when he got to where it would have been Velimir paused, a finger running over the deep creases Sorin's pen had left on the page underneath.

"Something you want to talk about?"

Sorin sighed quietly, briefly tightened his hold. "It's explained later, a little. I just..."

"Mm?"

"I... wasn't okay for a bit."

After the embarrassment of thinking of Velimir finding out, turned out it was easy to tell him.

"Jah?"

"I don't even really know why. I just... had bad dreams, and then my father got sick again, and I felt. I don't know. I wasn't okay."

"Cap'n Lazar tells me Hy should ask hyu about a bar brawl dat wasn't," Velimir said -- calm, measured.

Oh.

"What... did he tell you?"

"Just that."

"Mm." Sorin breathed out slowly. Yeah, he should -- Velimir should know. He'd get it. Sorin didn't get it but Velimir would (had to.) "I'd hoped getting drunk would relax me and instead it was so noisy and people were shoving each other around and then I was just -- someone pushed me and I almost brained him with a chair." A shrug, not half careless enough. "It was like I just -- I didn't even have time to think, I was ready to... Then I had to leave before I did something I'd regret."

"Huh."

Sorin's throat had knotted up; he swallowed. "You get it, right?"

"Hm." Pensive, he didn't talk for a while; Sorin waited, head low. "Remember after de dirigible, you get all babbly und shaky? Is one reaction to real battle. Another is hyu brain thinks hyu iz in mortal danger all de time, even once hyu iz safe again. Some people who got real bad scared, or were at war too long, dey have it so bad dey can't go out, everything looks like an enemy. Barricade der own home, suspicious of dey own wife, things like that. If hyu just had de one jumpy-snarl time, iz not so bad."

"Shellshock?" Sorin asked, because he _had_ heard that term, it would be hard not to with the hideous wars before the Baron had established his peace. "But what happened to me lasted barely three days, and it wasn't even that bad--"

Velimir gave him a pointed look, one eyebrow going up. "Hunted down like prey, chased by werewolf, betrayed by friend und trusted leader both, burned by lava, und dey almost hurt hyu momma. Dat is even worse sometimes, hyu don't get de bad dreams for vhat gets hyu hurt but for de friend who vos just dere und--"

... Oh.

Sorin burrowed against Velimir's side, wrapped both arms around his neck. "No, I -- I was lucky like that, I didn't -- I haven't been dreaming about Mother much. Or about you, but I was never very worried for you, I mean, when you got brained by that clank, yeah, but the second we were out I was, I was scared to death but at the same time I couldn't really believe that you _wouldn't_ heal if you got enough time, you know?"

"Vell, dat vos right," Velimir replied with aplomb, though he kept staring at the horizon with a bit too much insistence.

Sorin kissed his shoulder, pressed his cheek against it. Velimir sighed, and turned to nuzzle into his hair.

"That doesn't mean I liked knowing you were in pain. That part was pretty uncomfortable."

"Bah! Jaegerkin dun feel pain," Velimir says loftily.

"Bullshit."

"... Mebbe a little. Not as much for _real_ , though, und hyu see how we heal, it's not as bad for us."

Sorin considered and discarded several possible answers, settled on, "Yeah, but it's okay if you want to be grumpy around me in the meantime. Being in pain is never fun." Quieter, rougher. "I won't tell."

Velimir chuckled so quietly it was almost more breath against Sorin's forehead than sound. "Jah, okay."

They just cuddled in the dark for ... Sorin didn't know how long, and it was so nice, he wished it would never end. Veli was warm against him and Sorin's thigh was half over his from the slope of the roof, he couldn't feel his butt from the tiles and still didn't want to move. He did in the end with a sigh, shuffling his weight, turning a little more toward him; his knee rustled the pages of his letter. Veli flattened his free hand on top of them before they could fall.

He didn't start reading again, though, just looked at them, and then he went, "Hyu feel better now?"

"Better than I did back then?" Sorin nodded. "Not sure why, but. Yeah. I felt... I don't know. Trapped. It was bad. I thought if anyone got in my way I'd savage them. But now it's... I'm not sure."

"Hm?"

Sorin didn't know how to put it in words, the balance he was holding. It was like he was a boulder at the edge of a cliff, perfectly steady, content to stay in place for another three centuries. But there was all that slope underneath...

"I'm waiting, I think. I don't know for what, but I'm waiting."

He hardly thought he'd be able to wait that long. It was still effortless now, but he could feel it, the vibrations -- they didn't show yet but soon he'd...

Something would happen. Something had to.

"Ho, yes." Veli smiled at him, eyes hooded, amused and so tender it made Sorin's guts knot up hot and his skin prickle. "Something vill happen, and then watch out."

"If you've got a hint for me--"

"Nah. Hy dun actually know vhat hyu is waiting for. It's just... familiar, it is."

"Is it?"

Velimir's smile diminished, a bit sad at the edge, but still so soft Sorin just wanted to burrow in his arms and spend the next century there. "Just don't decide to join de Jaegerkin, we haff no Heterodyne to turn you right now."

"Pff," Sorin said, and smiled back. "Yeah, I'll wait. Just get a move on and find him before I'm sixty, hm?"

"Oi!" Velimir protested, and leaned in to nip his jaw with his bear trap teeth.


	4. Chapter 4

Things Sorin noticed in the next two months:

1\. The number of concerned neighbors who felt the need to tell his parents they saw him running around at night with a Jägermonster dropped sharply when his parents took to going out at night as well, to patron Frau Crina's new restaurant. Or maybe it was his mother telling the last one to either complain to the guards if they'd seen him do anything illegal, or shut up and mind their own business. (He supposed there was no law in Wulfenbach lands against sodomy, but there was one in Vulkanburg and he didn't really feel an urge to be a test case to see whose law would hold.)

2\. Getting laid regularly did amazing things to how much he cared about bitter-and-loud Viscountess Raduva loyalists.

3\. Velimir's brothers were really fond of coitus interruptus, especially when they were inflicting it. On the upside he learned a lot of filthy, slightly archaic swear words.

4\. Velimir's brothers also ended up in the hot springs much more often when they had to jump the wall during the night than they would have if they hadn't been told to keep out. They made sure to clean up after themselves, so no one ever noticed.

5\. It was hard to canoodle clandestinely in the hot springs for reasons noted in item three.

6\. Bar brawls were kind of fun when he got to show off and knew someone was here to stop him before things got too far.

7\. The town was much less flat when the roofs were possible pathways.

Things Sorin didn't notice:

1\. His friends didn't know he could laugh so much. It was not entirely a happy discovery; they saw him do it mostly on the fringes of his interaction with a stranger. Luca -- the best friend he had -- didn't figure out he was in love. Serghei and Emil did, and Serghei even figured out with who, and as it was not something he enjoyed thinking about he decided he would forget it immediately. (He didn't, even though he tried extra-hard.) (Emil tried to figure it out, and thankfully couldn't; he wouldn't have kept quiet.)

2\. Every time Velimir dropped by Sorin's home to pick him up, the matchlock was being cleaned or otherwise displayed prominently.

3\. The happier he felt, the sadder Master Iliescu got.

\--

And then in the blink of an eye two months had passed and Velimir left.

Sorin spent his suddenly-free time catching up on late sleep, and otherwise went to work just like usual. He caught himself getting maudlin a couple of times, but otherwise was pleasantly surprised that the ache of missing him stayed this quiet, melancholy thing, and he didn't have to explain away any sudden bout of tears.

Well, maybe it'd still happen at some point, but one week in and it still hadn't.

So when he came back home that evening and his father saw him and arched a surprised eyebrow, it wasn't because of Velimir at all.

"Well, that _is_ a long face."

Sorin stopped by the front step, looking down at the little bench in consternation. "Father, why are you outside? It's almost winter."

His father chuckled soundlessly. "I hope you never have cause to travel in winter outside of this town, son, you will be surprised."

Sorin had a quick, unpleasant thought about how unlikely it was that his father would survive the winter in any other town, unless the family emigrated all the way to the south end of Greece. "I guess."

He did seem to be feeling good today; Sorin sat cautiously on the edge of the doorstep to keep him company.

They sat in silence for a handful of seconds; the sun shone right on their front door, it was oddly nice to sit and take the time to appreciate the feeling.

"Something happen at work?"

Sorin hesitated. "Not... really?"

His father didn't say a thing, just turned to look at him in disbelief.

"Not _yet_." He didn't want to worry his father with it, though. "It's not _bad_ , just... Just a bit weird."

"Is it related to Rozalia coming home?" his father asked, watching him, and Sorin flinched, more out of surprise than anything else.

"How'd you -- I didn't think people were already talking about it!"

"Your master sent us a note this morning. Very... nice of him. Very conscientious."

Oh Lord. Had Master Iliescu felt the need to give a heads-up to the firsthand victims of his daughter's betrayal? Sorin cringed, imagining the man sitting at a desk to pen the explanation, the guilt and shame he must have -- nrgh.

And then the unwelcome reminder for his parents.

"He didn't tell me. That he wrote you, I mean, he did tell me she was coming back, that he was taking her back in." Sorin gave a short sigh, raked a hand through his hair. (He made yet another note to get it cut soon; it was long enough for a ponytail and it annoyed him more than anything else. Sweaty. Veli liked playing with it, but it would have more than enough time to grow back.)

"And what do you think about that?"

Sorin shrugged. "Not sure. It's... complicated."

"Mm. Not an awesome trade-off either, is it? Your friend for... her."

Um. Yeah.

Rozalia used to be a friend, he thought. Kind of. More of a little sister who didn't know how to play rough, that he felt obligated to take out of the house sometimes even though she wouldn't want to participate in things he liked.

She might have liked some of those things, actually. He'd assumed rather a lot about her, or else realizing that her headstrong streak ran as far as it did wouldn't have been such a complete surprise.

"I'm trying not to see it like a trade-off, or else I'll feel really cheated," he said, trying to make it sound funny.

It was so hard to talk to his father. Not because the man would judge, or refuse to listen, or get angry -- he was the calmest, gentlest of Sorin's parents, of his whole family actually.

But he'd been sick for so long; he'd had to concentrate on himself, Sorin understood that, and Sorin hadn't wanted to add to his worries. Still didn't. And now he didn't know how to talk with him without minimizing everything. No, it's fine, I'm doing well, I'm managing on my own, I'm an independent young man now, let's talk about the weather, did you hear about so-and-so's new baby.

"Mm." His father nodded thoughtfully. "It's not going to be a very comfortable situation. I hope you don't come to feel out of place at the forge... At the same time, it's... Well, she's his daughter."

"I wasn't expecting him not to take her back in," Sorin replied, a little surprised. "He's been to see her several times, I don't -- I mean, they had their differences, but I think even if she'd _killed_ someone he'd still..."

Thinking about that made him sad. Iliescu loved his daughter. Sorin wasn't sure he knew her any better than Sorin himself did.

He scuffed his foot against the paved stones, head bowed.

"I don't... hate her, or anything like that. It's like, it's been a while, it doesn't feel personal for me anymore? The only thing that still really bothers me is that she got the lot of you involved. I was the one her mistress wanted, and her mistress wouldn't have had a _clue_ how to get to me if she hadn't volunteered the information."

A short, heaving sigh.

"But none of us died." (Apart from the clank drivers and gunners that Velimir had killed on the way out, to keep them from gunning Sorin or Veli down.) "So, you know, I'm not going to drag master Iliescu into the middle of any stupid argument."

His father hummed an acknowledgement. Sorin stared at his boots, the scuffs and the fine bits of shaved metal prickled in and the burnt patches. Good boots, solid work, nicely broken in. He'd had to throw the old ones away from all that swimming in rivers he'd done with them, the leather had cracked too badly to be salvaged.

"I can't help but understand him exactly, though," his father said quietly. "If you -- or Ludmilla, heh, probably Ludmilla -- if you ended up in trouble with the law, well. We might be disappointed for a little while, but."

A short pause. Sorin fought not to squirm.

"We would take you in. No matter what. We would always take you in."

His first thought was, 'even if I got arrested for sodomy?' Sorin ducked his head, throat feeling oddly tight.

He thought -- maybe. Maybe yes. But he couldn't be sure without asking, and if he asked and was wrong there would be no making it unhappen, and...

Couldn't. Shouldn't. Wouldn't.

"Mm," was all he managed to say, head bowed, face hopefully at least partially hidden behind his hair. It was Mother's ridiculously thick, dark curls he had inherited, not his father's (thinning, graying) straw; it helped some with that. "Anyway, I don't expect to see her much, the forge and the house might be on top of each other but they're still separate, and we don't really have any reason to share space. Heh, now I'm triple glad Master Iliescu agreed to let me stay home, can you imagine how awkward it would be if I were boarding with him?"

His father gave a pained chuckle, perhaps thinking about Sorin's potential living arrangements if they'd done the apprentice contract the way those usually went, perhaps with his usual twinge of guilt for taking the living stipend Master Iliescu had agreed to pay Sorin's parents in exchange for not having to host him.

(As an apprentice, it wasn't like Sorin got a _salary_. Bonuses and holiday gifts, yes, at Master Iliescu's discretion, or customers slipping him money for a job well-done, but not much more than that. Sorin had insisted that if he worked yet still lived home that it was normal that he would help with rent, but his parents had only ever accepted because they had Ludy and her school to think of, or he would have found himself bundled off to Iliescu's the second he got hired.)

"Great God. Yes. That would _not_ be a peaceful household."

"I wouldn't _fight_ with her!" Sorin protested.

His father snorted. "Polar colds are not much better than house fires for quality of living, son."

... Sorin was not pouting. Nope.

His father turned to him, and then grinned, sudden, brighter than Sorin had seen on his weary, thinning face in just about forever.

"On the upside, should you decide to get away from your sister and move into your own place, I will officially have a job starting next week."

"--What?!" Sorin spluttered, leaned to him, his butt almost slipping off the step. "You -- but you're -- but--"

His father was chucking, eyes crinkled up. "Doctor gave permission yesterday, and it's only going to be scribe work -- lots of letters going back and forth now with the Wulfenbach people in town, you know, and it's a nice, sedentary job that will tire naught but my writing hand."

A short, quiet, _gentle_ pause.

"I'm on the mend, Sorin, I am. The little -- _adventure_ six months ago set me back some, so we didn't want to say earlier, and Doctor Rasmusson said he'd be mighty surprised should I ever get my full lung or heart capacity back, but -- we've got it. They've got it. It's a slow, patient climb that goes nowhere but up--"

So. Yes. Sorin was up on a knee on the bench and hugging his father, in full view of the street and everybody who might be passing by, and did not care one bit.

"You're not going to die," he choked out, and then heard himself, oh. _Oh_.

His father rubbed his back, patted it, voice gentle, only a tiny bit choked up. "I'm not going to die, unless a tile falls on my skull tomorrow, or of old age like everybody else. Perhaps a few years earlier, but -- that's not bad. That's not bad, son, not after spending fifteen years-- Not after. That's not bad. That's _good_."

"That's good," Sorin echoed, laughing, and pretended he wasn't also crying a little.

Rozalia could have killed his father, getting him thrown in that dungeon -- the dungeons weren't damp and cold around here, nothing could be, but the stress alone, Sorin had seen the downturn when he'd come home. She could have.

She hadn't.

She hadn't, and she wasn't going to, nothing was going to.

Laughing and sniffling a little, he got up on his feet, held out his hand. "Have you told Ludy? Oh -- can you go out, do you want to go out. Restaurant, let me pay, let's go, come on, let's tell Mother before she cooks anything that can't be put off--"

His father grunted with effort, short of breath, when he let Sorin pull him up, but he followed him inside, and the only thing he said was to dispute the ownership of the future bill. Sorin told him he could get the next one with his first paycheck, but this one was Sorin's, he would get very sulky if anyone tried to thieve it from him.

(He let Ludmilla pitch in with her clank salvage savings.)

\--

_... And he started a week ago, and it's been going really well! And no downturn at all so far. Long story short, I'm pretty happy about it._

_In news less Good but closer to Neutral or more like Really Confusing, my little sister has apparently decided to appoint herself as Rozalia's guard._

_By which I don't mean she guards Rozalia from people._

_It's strange and complicated -- women are weird, and I don't get it at all. You get the feeling that Ludy might yet decide to lock Rozalia in her bedroom and throw away the key, and Rozalia is suitably disdainful of her, as befits a lady at least two or three years older, but at the same time she never brings up that Ludy has no right, either._

_Rozalia and I had been pointedly ignoring each other for several days like two strange cats in the same house -- she never came out, per se, but she would sit at her window for hours being too Proud to be Forlorn, or stand on the doorstep in the courtyard (never the front door) and never ever put a toe past that, and when I came in the mornings or went on errands she would sneer a bit and look pointedly away, and I would also sneer a bit and look away to be honest, and I really felt quite a lot like she was the Persian cat imported from Paris at great trouble who did not want to get muddied up outside apart from all the ways in which she did, and I was the barn cat having great fun with his uncouth mice._

_She spoke to me once. Just the once, but still. Yes, I was very surprised too. She said... drumroll, please... "Sorry for your..." and waved vaguely toward her own face, like she was too coy to indicate my horribly disfiguring scar, which I must be much shamed by. Pff._

_Then I was unkind and said "Sorry for your" and waved vaguely toward her house, which she had been haunting like a ghost as if she didn't know she was out of prison yet, and she said, "no you're not" sharp like a little knife, and I said "No I'm not" and walked away feeling quite proud of myself until I started to feel bad for enjoying feeling mean._

_But not for making it clear to her, either. The house arrest she is inflicting on herself, and the real arrest came as a consequence of action she chose of her own free will. I might feel sad that we aren't better friends, but I refuse to hand her any power over me. The bigger fault was on her side, so it's on her to apologize, or not, and then I'll see._

_But anyway! Ludy came one morning to bring over a bushel of apples someone had given Mother (actually they'd given her three or four, the house still smells like jam) so I could share them with Master Iliescu and Yoan and probably also Rozalia but everyone sure as Hell wasn't going to mention where some of the fruit might disappear to once Master Iliescu took the leftover apples home for the night. And Rozalia was, of course, standing on the doorstep, looking outside._

_It was the Persian Cat and the Bulldog straight away._

_Ludy charged in all teeth out in that kind of smile I have also seen on your face, which is all Hi I Am Friendly And Also Full Of Chompy Teeth Let Me Show You. Rozalia went all stiff and wary and Ludy actually said "Hi!" very bright and Cheerful and said "here are some apples, they're very good! When are you apologizing to my parents? By the way don't apologize to me, I don't want it."_

_Rozalia stormed back inside, and Ludy actually followed. A lot of yelling ensued._

_We did not get a lot of work done that morning. Poor Master Iliescu hovered at the door of the forge wondering if he should get in the middle of two snarling females. Nothing sounded like breaking glass or like a physical fight, thought. Sometimes I wondered what they might be saying to each other, as it was too indistinct to make out, but most of the time I thought they were both just too stubborn to step off and had long since passed the point of useful verbal conversation and gone straight to animal posturing._

_In the end when Ludy left she looked very satisfied. Rozalia didn't emerge until the middle of the afternoon, and when she did it was not with that air of martyred boredom, but scowling and muttering at the courtyard stones._

_We all assumed that was the end of it, but the next day at noon Ludmilla showed up again._

_She has been showing up every day but Sundays without fail._

_They call each other moron and dunce and shrill harpy and other, much worse names, but each morning at eleven Rozalia shows up on the doorstep watching the street with eagle eyes, like she's already marshaling her arguments. Yesterday when Ludy stormed in, as is her wont, she just said (or yelled, more accurately,) we are going to the market! You are going to show your face, and if anyone wants to yell at you, you will take it! and then I pretended not to hear them muttering, but in the end Ludy had her convinced that nobody actually would, but if they did it would be okay because people had been yelling at Sorin (that is, me) for getting the Viscountess arrested so it was only fair, and hey, maybe people would commend her for trying to stand by her Mistress, which had Rozalia pulling the oddest face. I wonder if she is still in Loyalty._

_So far that is all I have to chronicle of the strangest not-a-friendship I have ever witnessed. It's like they truly Hate each other, but find some odd Enjoyment in spending time together to tell each other so in detail, and Rozalia allows herself to be relentlessly bullied into doing things she might well die before doing on her own. Very strange. They were never friendly before._

_In other, probably more interesting to you news, I had a quite nice dream the other day about you, me, and a hot spring. Also a total lack of clothes, but for thigh-high riding boots you were wearing even though you hardly need them, but they looked Very nice..._

\--

_sorry for lateness everyone knows i is writing to you now. they keep trying to tak my letter and then i have to fight them it is very fun but not good for letter writing or the letter sorry it is crumpled. anyway athanasi says hi and also teodor._

_about your sister und miz rozalia i only have one thing to say and it is did miz roz not like der viscountess in a rather kissing way_ (*scribble of a wide, shit-eating grin*) _it sure resembles the courting of jormungandr heterodyne by the dread polar lord nanuk..._

\--

_OH MY GOD, I HATE YOU SO MUCH._

\--

December the second and everyone had suddenly remembered that Christmas and New Year were coming and they had boilers to repair and horses to shoe for family-visiting trips.

Sorin also spent a deplorable amount of time helping Yoan figure out how to top off a tin soldier mold without overfilling it and welding the hinges shut, and laboriously pulling out sections of heated wire through smaller and smaller holes in a plate to thin them. It was almost meditative, except when he wanted to go too fast and broke the wire and had to start again, but he only did that two... three... six times before accepting that it would take the time it took and in the meantime he should probably find something not too distracting to daydream about.

"Sorin, job for you."

Sorin eyed his length of wire. Yeah, nice, very nice. He couldn't help but feel there had to be a more practical way to do it, perhaps if you built a machine with a rotating bit and just turned the handle to smoothly draw it out onto the reel... "Yessir. What is it?"

He was handed a couple leaves of paper with detailed sketches on it, with quickly-added numbers for size in Master Iliescu's hand.

"Huh. Is this for a birdcage? Fancy." He turned the page. The cage wasn't straight but bulged in place, the bars were thin; there were curlicues everywhere, some of them very elegant. It would be finicky but the end result might well be worth it... "For Christmas?"

"Of course." Master and apprentice shared a speaking look and an eyeroll. Why did people always wait until the last possible minute? "You're lucky! I talked him out of having it all made of chromium-steel."

Sorin winced. The thing was so fiendishly difficult to heat properly, never mind hammering it into shape when the shapes required such finesse. His arms would probably fall off...! "Yeah, very lucky, thank you. Wow."

"So instead you just have to do the top and bottom that way."

Iliescu was smirking, just barely. Sorin gave him a disgusted look, and then smiled back. "Well, that should be okay. Also," he added philosophically, "Putting it where his bird is going to crap is probably the best use of steel that doesn't stain or rust."

"Sorin!" Iliescu chided, lips pinched so he wouldn't laugh. Behind them Yoan fumbled a mold and snickered guiltily to himself.

It was the most complex task he'd been given so far. Nothing outside of his ability, he didn't think, but it would be engaging. _Interesting_. He went over the plans again, nodding to himself as he noted the measurements. He'd probably need at least five steel ingots, from the size of the cage alone... and that damned chromium-steel. Hrrm. Better do the top and bottom first, then, and shape the rest to match them. Easier than the other way around... Yes. He'd do it like that.

"Psst, Sorin, you're muttering," Yoan told him from the corner of his mouth. Sorin huffed and knuckled vengefully at his skull.

"And don't forget the wire," Master Iliescu told him patiently from the other end of the forge. "It _is_ still due next week."

"Can I do the wire during the times I'm ready to scream in frustration at the birdcage?"

"... Yes, I suppose there'll be enough of those."

"Excellent."

Iliescu was right, too.

Sorin had other jobs in the meantime, and they had to put everything on hold to get a mining locomotive repaired as fast as possible, as a good third of the miners were effectively out of work until it was fixed. (The mine was too deep to bring everything back up on human back, and not studded with enough vertical openings for pulleys. No one said anything to Sorin about how the Mistress would have had it fixed in a hot minute, either.)

Five days left before Christmas, and Sorin finished the birdcage.

It stood in a corner of the foundry, almost chest-high on him, polished to a gleaming finish, and Sorin spent at least five minutes playing with the numerous door hinges and bird swings before he allowed himself to pronounce it ready to go.

"--Well. If you agree, Master?"

Iliescu hummed at him; didn't talk. Sorin blinked at him.

"Master?"

"Good work."

He felt warm inside, hearing it. It had been a challenge, and he'd met it. He was sure Iliescu could have done it faster, and probably wouldn't have taken rough and inelegant shortcuts with the underside of the roof where no one but the bird would ever see it. But it was done, it was good, and it even met most of the customer's specs (and the rest had been ridiculous and impossible. So.)

"It's early yet, but I believe you're ready to become a journeyman now."

... Oh.

Sorin was bound by contract and there were six months left, and as an apprentice he didn't have to be paid and as a journeyman he _did_ ; that Master Iliescu would even make the offer meant he thought Sorin's work would be valuable enough...

... As a journeyman...

Oh. A journey. So that was it.

\--

"Huh. Forge kid. Hyu again."

Sorin came to a stop, skidding on the slate stones before the castle's doors, turned, arched his eyebrows. "--Oh." The bar jaeger. Again. Sorin almost said exactly that, but then he remembered Veli called this one sir. He did seem to be wearing comparatively more gold braid, and his hat was... Sorin was no judge of good hats, but somewhat fancier. "Hello, sir. Back in town? I thought you'd gone two rotations ago."

The jaeger sat on a shadowed bench by the gate that went to the garrison, legs stretched out, dragon tail draped negligently beside him. The tip hung over the edge, and quivered slightly when Sorin looked at it.

"Mm. Did. Came back." He didn't seem enthused, but then again he wasn't very expressive as jaegers went, eyelids stuck at a bored half-mast, eyebrows a bushy, heavy mass that sat low over his eyes. (Were those _quills_ in them?) "What iz hyu doing here dis time, comink to seduce more of mine boyz?"

Sorin opened his mouth to retort something offended and blustery, and then closed it to frown forbiddingly, because he'd been learning some about letting the jaegers fluster him too visibly. "No _thank_ you, sir. Training one of them is already enough of a pain."

An unwilling spark of amusement. "True dat."

"I've got paperwork to pick up," Sorin told him, to get off the subject of him and potential other jaegers. He was sure the man didn't care -- Veli had told him most jaegers were indiscriminate, and those who weren't would never judge their brothers over it -- but he didn't feel like coming out of here blushing like a forest fire either. "Um, you wouldn't happen to know where to find traveling permits?"

The town would still be watched over for another couple of years, which was why they wanted to keep track of who was going where and why, but it wasn't like you were denied unless you'd loudly proclaimed your desire to raise an army against the invaders and also tried to beat up several guards, either.

... Yeah, Sorin didn't like it a ton, but to be honest it wasn't much different from the Viscountess' laws, where you had to have her personal permission to immigrate into the town or emigrate to just about anywhere else -- and there had been a tax, too. At least with the Baron you just had to pay for a copy of the paperwork.

The jaeger groaned. " _Paperwork_. Hy dun even know where to find mine _own_ paperwork."

"Keeps finding you on its own?" Sorin asked before he could stop himself.

The jaeger stared at him, and then snorted. "... Ayup."

"That must be terrible," Sorin deadpanned.

"Iz devil thing, iz vhat it iz. Run vhile hyu can." The jaeger twitched his mouth in what was probably supposed to be a disgusted grimace. _Really_ not expressive, heh.

Sorin tried not to chuckle, and didn't succeed very well. "Yeah, that's the plan."

He couldn't help rocking on his heels, excited all over again at the thought. A trip. A long, _long_ trip.

Master Iliescu was very far from convinced yet. Sorin knew he'd hoped for Sorin to stay and help him handle the shop. (Succeed him with it, too. An honor. A burden.)

They could probably still do that, just... maybe not yet. Maybe in a while. Like two years, a while. Five years. Ten.

"Vhere hyu going?"

Sorin opened his mouth, closed it. Tried again; "Anywhere. Everywhere. Europa?"

The way the jaeger watched him, Sorin could have shouted it. Anywhere but here.

"Aiming large, huh."

"Yeah." An awkward shrug, followed by an even more awkward pause. Sorin wasn't sure if he should stand here and keep dragging on the conversation, or stop bothering him already.

There was maybe just one thing he should say, then, and then he'd leave. Yeah.

He breathed in deep, bracing, made himself meet his eyes. "Thanks for telling Veli about. You know. That time."

And not telling him _more_. He could have spun the whole scene into 'your new boyfriend is kinda crazy', and hadn't. That had been pretty decent.

Sorin cracked a small, thankful smile, and took a step back in preparation for his exit.

The jaeger stretched out his legs, leaned onto his elbows; Sorin stopped. "Hyu still writing to him den?"

Sorin hadn't expected the personal question. He floundered. "... Yeah? Of course, I mean -- yeah."

"Huh."

A pause, as the man considered it, and Sorin stood there squirming internally, not knowing if he should get annoyed, if he was being judged or -- or what.

"Hyu iz going to need maps too."

"--Oh." For the trip. "Yes? It's on my list."

"Dey haff some at de office," the jaeger said, crisp. "Dey all suck. Get a big one for de big picture, und get de smaller ones vith de up to date rock fall und riverbed schtuff from Frau Gonzalez at de Crispy Bear inn. Und go talk to caravan master Sokolski, he iz here in two days. You haff questions, what hyu need on de road, best berths for what terrain, local customs crap, he give it to hyu strait. Tell him Lazar sends hyu."

... Oh. "Wow. Thank you. I -- _thank you_."

The jaeger reclined against the wall, tilted his hat down, waved him off. The tip of his tail swished and slithered back onto the bench, was dragged back out of sight behind him. "Pssh. Go away. Und dun get hyuself killed out dere, Veli vill get all pouty. Shoo, shoo."

Laughing incredulously, Sorin said, "Sure thing," and then "Goodbye" and another "Thank you" for the road, for all that thanks seemed to annoy him.

Advice? _Recommendations_? An introduction to someone, even? Sorin had been determined to go himself and ask around, and possibly shake choice people until useful information fell out; it would go so much faster with good, trustworthy advice and --

Working trips used to be so much more common in Europa before the Long War, Sorin knew -- it'd be suicidal to attempt one were the Baron's Peace not holding. The countryside was still a mess of wild monsters and dysfunctional clanks and highwaymen, which was bad enough without dealing with armies and desperate refugees on top.

Vulkanburg's caldera, though... When he stood here at the very bottom and watched its black walls rise all around in jagged spikes, even over the castle spires, more and more he felt like he was a goldfish at the bottom of a bowl.

The town only needed a lid to become perfectly suffocating. There was no wind at the bottom and barely any seasons.

He needed to get out. He needed to _know_ he could get out, and then he'd be fine coming back, he knew (he hoped.)

He marched into the administrative wing of the castle. One step and the next step, gathering information and convincing his Master that it would be so useful to broaden their techniques, their knowledge (of course he was worried for Sorin's safety but even if he hadn't been, why don't you stay, why didn't you marry Rozalia (you could have been like my son.)) and gathering money and materials and.

Leaving, leaving, _leaving_.

"Hello!" he said when they finally directed him to the right person, and he managed to stand around stubbornly enough to be received. "I'm here for a traveling permit."

\--

To: _CPL Velimir Ardel 3 rd Jaegermonster Regiment care of Castle Wulfenbach_

_I am taking a break from letter-writing to write you this letter. It makes a lot of sense in context._

_The context is that I have been ruining my writing hand and writing fingers to ask just about every single established blacksmith in Europa if they'd mind me dropping in to work with them for a couple of weeks/months each, and also getting dates, directions, safety levels, etcetera about every single caravan ever so I can coordinate it all._

_So, I have two new things to announce, and they both fit inside a single sentence:_

_Surprise! This journeyman is going on a JOURNEY and no one can stop me._

\--

_To: Sorin Petrescu, care of Master Iliescu, Vulkanburg_

_congratuletions!! no time to write but see enclosed_ (*scribble of a wide grin*)

(*enclosed: a wooden box six feet high and six feet across*)

(*enclosed in the wooden box: an engine made of stone, warm to the touch, with insides that sloshed like liquid fire*)

\--

_To: CPL Velimir Ardel 3 rd Jaegermonster Regiment care of Castle Wulfenbach_

_You crazy bastard, what am I going to do with that thing._

_Okay, no, I am kidding as obviously the real question is what am I not going to do with that thing. The list is very short. Where did you find it? No, don't tell me, I'm incriminated enough._

_I wanted to tell you this in person but who knows when we'll meet up next (though now that I'm going to be moving around we might get more occasions! I will make sure to keep you informed of where I'm going to be) so here it is._

_Just let me spend ten minutes staring at the paper and letting the ink dry first..._

_No, just kidding, it's actually pretty easy._

_I'm in love with you. You crazy, Godless bastard. May Someone or Something have mercy on my soul._

(*a heart.*)


End file.
